Aleks - Anarcho-Syndicalist

2007-07-24T16:45:00.000+10:00

THE ENGINEER OF HUMAN SOULS

Apologies to Josef Skorevcky.

I went back up to Sydney on the weekend for my mother's birthday. I got to see my little 3 week old nephew, who I did get to see for 2 days before I moved. I don't think there is anything more beautiful than a baby, and nothing more relaxing than nursing a sleeping baby. He has spends more and more time awake, no doubt trying to make out exactly what this world he now lives in is like.

In Australia we will be having a federal election before the year is out. What fear will Howard play on? What do I mean? Well in 1996 he played on the fear of native title and of people losing their homes to Aboriginal land claims (even though people losing their homes in such a way could never happen). In 1998 he didn't need to play up any fear, because his majority was so large - still he did lose a lot of seats, so he knew he would have to go back to playing on people's fears. In 2001 it was the fear of asylum seekers and refugess being terrorists. In 2004 it was interest rates. In 2007? Well it seems to be Islam and the loss of jobs and economic prosperity (at least for the wealthy minority - the number of people living in poverty is inceasing in these "prosperous times) if Workchoices is overturned.

Faced with this, we have the alternative of a Kevin Rudd led ALP government. The lesser of two evils. The only problem with this is that you are still voting for an evil. Where has the ALP been on the issue of Indigenous rights since 1996? MIA. On refugess? Well they support the government's attacks on asylum seekers (Kevin Rudd particularly) because, well, they introduced the policy. Interest rates? Well they don't want to abolish one of the major causes of high house prices (which makes interest rates such an issue), negative gearing. Islamaphobia? Morris Iemma matches Howard and co on this any day. Hell, they won't even undo all of the Workchoices legislation, let alone the WRA 1996. Oh Peter Garrett, he's a right-to-lifer, a Christian Fundamentalist - as it appears is Rudd. The ALP, a good alternative? What a sick joke. Yet sadly this is what most people will think are the only alternatives, ALP and Liberal, Howard or Rudd.

What has happened to us? Why are we so selfish, so xenophobic, so bigoted that we have become this way, so full of fear, that we not only ignore human suffering, or encourage it, but actively engage in the activities that cause it? Why and who has engineered our soul in such a way?

2007-07-06T16:54:00.000+10:00

EVERYTHING IS ILLUMINATED

Apologies to Jonathan Saffran Foer. For 5 days now I have resided in Victoria - truth be told there is little difference between it and NSW. Well, unless you are talking about football.

I got to see my new little Nephew for 2 days, and more than anything else I miss being able to see him. Prior to leaving I went through and visited some places that I used to hang around in, but hadn't been in for a while. Memories came flooding back. Similarly I spent a while in my grandparents home, knowing full well it would soon be sold, and it made me sad. Not because it was the loss of a physical house, but because of the way the house triggered memories of my grandparents. It's the same for songs or movies - at one time or another we have had a song or movie become a favourite because of the connection between the music/movie and someone special - which will then cause us to fell hurt when that relationship ends.

In Everything is Illuminated (watch the film first, then read the book) a man goes to look for the village in Ukraine that his Jewish grandfather had escaped from and to look for the woman who had helped save him. After much searching he finds a woman who indicates that he has found the village - inside her rural, isolated house are the physical possessions of the Jewish families that the Nazis had destroyed. The village and it's people were still alive so long as their possesions were there and she remembered the people. I am worried now that the selling of their house will result in some of my memories of them fade as I don't have the house there anymore to remind me.

2007-06-25T17:26:00.000+10:00

THE UNBEARABLE LIGHTNESS OF BEING

Apologies to Mr Milan Kundera. In a few days I will be moving to Melbourne. As far as moving places goes the mov isn't a big one. However as someone who doesn't go on holidays, the longest I have been out of Sydney (unless you count being out of my mind as out of Sydney) is about a week.

I'm really looking forward to the move, but there are things I will miss. Obviously my friends and family (particularly my nieces and nephews). But some of them are small things like going to get me lunch when I am at work, and everyone there knowing me and knowing what I order. The group of 13 very Large crows who live near my place who I will often just sit and look at on the weekend. The buildings and trees that I see on my way to work from the train. Even the trains that rattle past my window every 5 minutes. Why will I miss them? Because they are reassuring, things that I can count on that provide some sense of stability in my life. But sometimes we need to take risks and move from that stability. Besides, I will inevitably create that stability in my new environment anyway.

In my last job, I was told to keep track of the thank emails I received from members to use in performance reviews. Invariably you would build up 6 to 10 of them. I decicided to do the same with this job. After almst 3 years I have over 300. It's nice to know that you have made a difference. It is also nice to know that you will be missed by those members, which seems to be the case given the responses I have received. Similarly it was nice when at my last Greens meeting most people came to the pub for a farewell drink.

Oh well, bye Sydney, hello Melbourne.

2007-06-20T17:50:00.000+10:00

Harry Houdini

I'm like Harry Houdini - I disappear. For weeks or months on end. I cut myself off for months not just from my online friends, but from friends who I have known since school. Why? I just don't want to have to deal with people on a personal level. So I find things I can lost in for hours on end, things that will keep my mind occupied for long periods of time.

In many ways work is my salvation - it keeps me occupied and provides me with a sense of self worth that I don't find anywhere else. But too many things happened over the last year and I needed to get away from my present life, put myself in a new environment. So I found a new job, another union job, and will be leaving Sydney in less than 2 weeks to move down to start a job in Melbourne. My apprehensions have all but disappeared and I am looking forward to this, hoping that a new start will help me. There is another little thing too.

Last year, my sister had 2 miscarriages, and both were devastating to the family, a major loss because nothing is more beautiful or cherished than a new baby. But any day now my sister will give birth to another baby which will hopefully makes things better, while still not taking away all the pain. I will miss not being able to see my nieces and nephews as often as I have been, and not being able to see my new little nephew or niece as often as I would like too.

On Sunday I, inadvertantly at first, watched an episode of a program called Joan of Arcadia, which deals with a girl who thinks she can speak to god (like Joan of Arc), and her faily and friends. Normally I would have changed the channel and steered way clear or even thrown something at the TV, but a discussion amongst the characters about god, where some of them said that how could god exist in the world today, how could he/she let horrible things happen made me watch, and I was very surprised.

Besides the ongoing plotline of Joan "speaking" to God there were 3 other plots that ran through the episode. The first involves Joan's brother, who has been a paraplegic since a car he was in driven by his best friend, who was drunk at the time, crashed. Yet it is his friend that is suing Joan's brother. Why? Because he knew his friend was drunk but still let him drive instead of stopping him. It's a scenario most of us will have been in - a friend who wants to drive while drunk. How many of us stop them?

The second plot revolved around a friend of Joan's who drinks too much and almost dies of alcohol poisoning. Again Joan realises that she should have stopped her friend from drinking so much but she didn't - again, sound familiar? Both of these plots say the same thing - sometimes it's not what you do that is the problem, it is what you don't do. It's easy to blame others for what they have done to us, when the reality is we are to blame as well for allowing that to happen, instead of trying to stop it happening. I can definately see that I do this all too easily.

The last plot reveolved around Joan's father, who is a police investigator. A young boy is killed in a drive-by shooting by some gansters. Even though the people in the community know who did it, they wouldn't tell for they fear the consequences. However eventually a woman does come forward and identify the killers, but not long after she is killed and her house burnt. The moral? In a perfect world those who did what was right would be would not have to face any negative consequences. But the world isn't a prefect place, and sometimes those who do do what is right suffer as a result. I think I will try to continue watching the show.

Lastly my friends, and thank you to all of you with your messages of support, I would like to share a a poem from you by Czeslaw Milosz, the Polish/Lithuanian nobel prize winning poet:

NOT MINE

All my life to pretend this world of their is mine
And to know such pretending is disgraceful.
But what can I do? Suppose I suddenly screamed
And started to prophesy. No one would hear me.
Their screens and microphones are not for that.
Others like me wander the streets
And talk to themselves. Sleep on benches in parks,
Or on pavements in alleys. For there aren't enough prisons
To lock up all the poor. I smile and keep Quiet
They won't get me now.
To feast with the chosen - that I do well

2007-02-05T17:15:00.000+11:00

THE SPECTRE OF DEATH

My Grandmother passed away on Saturday night. She is the last of our family members who lived through and suffered that most damning indictment of humanity, World War 2. I wish I could say that her death was peaceful and serene, but it wasn't. I'm an athiest,for me it is impossible to see god when you see someone you love fade away in front of you with so little dignity. I similarly can't see god in the deaths of babies - for me there is no no stronger person than a woman who has had a child grow inside her for 9 months, only to lose them soon after birth. I cannot think of anything more painful.

My grandmother's death has opened up that abyss for me. I had started to regain control of myself, but that is now shot to pieces, and I'm back at the point where I can't help breaking down and crying, even in public. I think about what my grandparents went through, and I feel so pathetic because I can't seem to cope with a life that most people in the world would cherish. I wish I could just go to sleep and either never wake up, or wake up without this cowardice and stupidity.

2007-01-29T16:34:00.000+11:00

TIME AND TIME AGAIN

Time flies by way too quickly, yet it simultaneously drifts oh so slowly.

Things have improved for me, and I am spending time looking inwards it isn't nice. I see a person that likes to implode, that is so self-destructive. I turn my back on my good friends, for people who spit me out when they have used me for what I am worth, forsake a woman he was oh so beautiful in all senses of the word, in order to have a fling with someone for whom I was nothing but a play thing. Why? It seems to be a case of self-fulfiling prophicies - I look for people who will turn their back on me, while I turn my back on those people who do care about me, so that in my screwy head I can say to myself that nobody wants me.

In Douglas Copeland's book, Life after God, he says:

And then I felt sad because I realised that once people are broken in certain ways, they can’t ever be fixed, and this is something nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older as you see the people in your life break one by one. You wonder when your turn is going to be, or if it’s already happened.

And I wonder if that is me - have I become broken to the point where I cannot be fixed? I continue to look to see if this is the case....

2006-11-25T18:48:00.000+11:00

BACK AGAIN

Well, I'm back in psych hospital again - out on supervised leave at present, I went back in on Tuesday after cutting my wrists on monday night. I also used a coke can to cut them on Wednesday night in hospital which didn't go down to well. I was on 24 hour watch (level 1) - now am back to level 2 (checked upon every 30 minutes). Last time I cut my wrists it was a release and from that point on I improved. These 2 times however there has been no release. I want nothing more than to end this charade. As Radiohead say in "true love waits" - I'm not living, I'm just killing time. Even my little nephews can't cheer me up.

You know that life is pointless when you place all you hope in one person somehow magically giving life meaning - and when that person doesn't, then everything becomes so much worse. Again I have been fooled by sweet talk, that she liked me because of who I am, that I was sweet, sensitive, intelligent, thoughtful and believed in things, and I so wanted to believe that, because of all the self-doubt and self-loathing. So much so that I let my common sense abandon me. Now, even phone calls are a major effort on her part, even though she knows I am in hospital. And it all comes flooding back - how could anybody like you for who you are. What is there to like? Why is it that so many woman don't even think about me in "that way" - and it is obvious - because I am horrid and repulsive. And I want so much to hate her, but I can't, because I care about her, so that hate is directed at myself instead. And so my lack of a will to live at least now has a purpose.

Last weekend down in Melbourne I spent most of my time with a friend, a very beautiful woman and more importantly a very beautiful person. I found myself attracted to her, though she may be right in saying that is because of our close proximity during the weekend and my trying to tear away from the other. Then again how could I not be attracted to her in some way given both her inner and physical beauty (even though she denies she is beautiful). The moments where we were sitting watching TV, or even doing nothing, and where I had my arm around her or where she was resting her head on me were so beautiful and tranquil. Sunday morning when she came into my bed and just lay there napping was heaven to me - my arm around her and vice versa, and just watching her breathe, looking at her long black eyelashes, her pale white skin and curly brown hair. I wish that moment could be frozen in time, because this is all I want, this is what I have been so missing and what the weekend reminded me about, that sense of contentment just being with another person can bring - and what seems impossible for me.

2006-11-15T13:31:00.000+11:00

DROWNING

Two posts in as many days after so long without posting. But I feel like I'm drowning and having difficulty doing much at the moment, so I'm trying to let things out.

I have severe bi-polar and depression. Both fall into the category of mental illnesses, and both have some similarities, yet both have to be treated in their own way. Dealing with one is bad when they are playing up, but when both are playing up (for want of a better term) life becomes unbearable, as it has been for the last few months. When I was in hospital, all the doctors were amazed that I was able to hold down a full-time job and live independently, as there were many people there with bi-polar less serious than mine on a disability pension. But that is why I'm keeping the full extent of how bad I am at the moment from the doctor and most people - I would be off to hospital for a prolonged period of time and my life as I know it would collapse. Given that fact, death seems preferable.

As I mentioned yesterday, I've become involved with someone whi is engaged. She was the one who pushed things - given my state I was trying to block any such feelings that could make things worse. But she broke that down, and my feelings for her came out. Things seemed good for a while, but then she started to feel guilty, and has distanced herself from me saying she needs to "think things through". And I'm left feeling worse than I was before, because I care about her so much, and she seemed to care about me. Yet now she doesn't, and the only conclusion I can come to is that it is something about me. And it is destroying me, because I care about her and want to be with her, but I know this probably won't happen. And each day, the reason to go gets smaller and smaller.

When life seems pointless, when there is nothing to look forward to, having someone com along wanting you seems to change things. You want someone to like you for who you are, someone who likes what they see, physically and mentally, you want someone to be sexually attracted to you, because when you look in the mirror in the morning you hate what you see and who you are. And when that someone goes away, it just confirms everything you have thought, that there is nothing there for someone to like, and life becomes even more unbearable. In one of lifes little curiosities, I have always had more female friends than male friends (One said the other day that in many ways I am more like a chick than a bloke, and that she meant this in a good way) but when they tell you that you are such a great guy that you deserve someone good, it seems not only hollow, but sickening, even though I know they are coming at it from a good place.

I'm so tired.

2006-11-14T11:44:00.000+11:00

MY HOW TIME FLIES!

So, I'm wondering if I have set a world record between blog entries? If not, I'll have to set it with me next one.

So much has happened - very little of it good.

The year started out with some serious depression issues - with medication having little use. Things started spiralling down and little has changed, but back to that later.

One of the high points was doing an interview on Channel 7 just prior to the Easter protests at Villawood - still have it on DVD. At the said protests I was also quoted in almost every online newspaper website in Australia, criticising how unchristian the government's policies were at such a holy time for Christians. I also got arrested at the protests for calling a police officer "fascist scum" - after 4 months, the judge finally dismissed the offensive language charges.

The weeks and months went by as my mental health went from bad to worse. My bi-polar really started giving me major problems. At whcih point a "woman" entered my life who decided she liked the power she had over my life and decided to play with it, regardless of the consequences. Unable to cope I slit my wrist. Thankfully (or unthankfully I often think) I didn't kill myself. I spent 6 weeks in a psychiatric hospital. The news of my sister's second miscarriage in a year didn't help.

Eventually I came out, and slowly started to recover, and for a while there things seemed to pick up. Then two months ago things came crashing down again. The frequent and severe mood swings that are my bi-polar have been getting worse and worse. Of course, things don't help when you get involved with someone who is engaged. She was the one who initiated things (No excuse I know) and who I have really come to care about - only for her now to be starting to distance herself as the guilt sets in, all the while you are hoping that she will break off her engagement to be with you, even though you know she won't. I mean, when you don't even like yourself, and single women won't go out with you for any period of time, why would someone break off their engagement for you?

So, here I am. Life becoming so unbearable again, that death seems like a release - an incident with sleeping tablets last week reflecting this. Sorry for those peple out there who had been regular readers, people who had given me support online for not posting - I just wasn't up to it. I'm sure most, if not all of you have forgotten me by now. I decided to post in case any of you hadn't. Take care.

Oh, in one of those strange coincidences, most of my the people who used to regularly read my blog reside in Melbourne. I'm coming down there on Thursday to spend some time with a friend - we are acting as support mechanisms for one another. However she is working Sunday during the day, so if anyone wants to meet and say hi (you know to see how bad things could be) then or some other time let me know and I will put my email address in your blog

2005-12-22T17:31:00.000+11:00

TIME

I notice that it has been a moth since I last posted; it seems a lot longer than that, and eternity.

I’ve been snowed under with work and coupled with the fact that I haven’t been feeling well (not in a particularly good mental state) means that I haven’t had the time or the compulsion to post. I do however really appreciate those of you that have stopped by and inquired as to how I was.

In terms of the woman, I have spent some time with her, and I am starting to realise through my conversations with her and her actions that she isn’t the person I thought. She is still physically very beautiful, but I‘m not too sure whether she is a beautiful person inside any more, which means her physical beauty is meaningless.

What has happened in the last month? We have seen the barbaric execution of an Australian in Singapore and the piss-weak efforts of our government to stop this. We’ve seen the draconian IR, voluntary student Unionism and anti-"terror" legislation passed by the government. We’ve scene racial violence on mass in Sydney. Isn’t Australia a great fucking place to live?

Recently I have begun re-reading Douglas Coupland’s books again. I discovered him when I was looking at the linear notes for the Ataris song "My Hotel Year", which they said was inspired by his Book "Life After God". I read this, and I was hooked.

Though many of his books have a religious elements to them, which I as an atheist disagree with, I agree with the main assertion of all his literature; That there is something fundamentally wrong with modern Western Capitalist society. It promises so much, yet delivers so little, and what it delivers is so hollow. He essentially says (which I agree with) is that modern Western Capitalist society and it’s push to work longer hours so we can consume more crap we don’t need is destroying people’s humanity and turning them into selfish, uncaring individuals. In many ways he shares similar beliefs to my favourite Western Author, Kurt Vonnegut.

Here are some examples of what Douglas Coupland says in some of his Books.

LIFE AFTER GOD:

" Sometimes I want to go to sleep and merge with the foggy world of dreams and not return to this, our real world. Sometimes I look back on my life and I am surprised at the lack of kind things I have done. Sometimes I just feel that there must be another road that can be walked – away from this person I became – either against my will or by default."

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I question the person I have become and wonder whether it is/was possible to become somebody else.

MICROSERFS:

"It starts out young – you try not to be different just to survive – you try to be just like everyone else – anonymity becomes reflexive – and then one day you wake up and you’ve become all those other people – the others – the something you aren’t. And you wonder if you can ever be what it is you really are. Or you wonder if it’s too late to find out."

Don’t we all do our best, at least at some point in our lives, to "fit" into this fucked up society; to not be different, to be one of the crowd?

GIRLFRIEND IN A COMA:

"Nobody knew we had a second of free time remaining. All of it was frittered away on being productive, advancing our careers and being all-round productive. Each new advance made by "progress" created it’s own accelerating warping effect that made your lives here on earth feel even smaller and shorter and more crazed."

"I said we gave no evidence of an interior life. Acts of kindness, evidence of contemplation, devotion, sacrifice. All these things that indicate a world inside us"

Isn’t it true? We spend so much time worrying about our jobs and how much money we earn, and not enough time worrying about the sort of person we are?

GENERATION X:

"Now Denial: To tell oneself that the only time worth living in is the past and that the only time that may ever be interesting again is the future."

How often do we really appreciate the here and now, instead of reminiscing about how good the past was or how good the future may be.

And lastly, also from GENERATION X:

"I want you to tell me something first; after you’re dead and buried and floating around in whatever place we go to, what’s going to be your best memory of earth?" "What one moment for you defines what it’s like to be alive on this planet. What’s your takeaway?" "I want to hear some small moment from your life that proves you’re really alive?"

And this dear readers, is where you come in. What’s your takeway? What one moment defines for you what it is like to be alive on this planet, that really proves you are really alive?

Let me know by leaving a comment. If you want, you can post something similar so you can find out what the moment is for the readers of your blog.

However I will first tell you mine. It was Christmas Eve last year. My Nephew was 8 days old and asleep in adjoining room, when he started to cry. I picked him up and as soon as I did he stopped crying. For a couple of minutes he struggled to open his eyes and look at me, then he fell asleep in my arms. And that’s where he stayed for the next 2 hours. And I was perfectly content to sit there holding him and looking at him; there was nothing else in the world I would rather have been doing; there was no now denial, because the now was so perfect; the fact that I had been dumped 10 days earlier was forgotten. This was the one moment that defines for me what it is like to be alive on this planet, that really proves I am really alive.

2005-11-22T10:09:00.000+11:00

POLITICS AND OTHER THINGS PART 2

I am no good at coming up with headings. Even when it comes to email headings I am terrible. Thus reusing the heading from my last post. When it comes to rambling on however, that comes easy. Thus this is another ridiculously long post.

(Bad joke coming). I’m not a doctor. Thus I don’t have any patience (bickity bam!). Thus I called (90 minutes on the phone) the woman who has been on my mind constantly recently to ask her out to the premier of a series of interrelated short plays that I had tickets to. She said yes, and we went out again on Friday night. I took her to a very nice (and very expensive; $150 for dinner for two!) Indian restaurant overlooking the water at Woolloomooloo at 6pm. We went to the play, and after that finished at 10:30pm it was her that suggested we go have a drink or two. We bar hopped after the first bar we went to closed for the night, and subsequent ones we went to were too noisy to talk. This went on until 2am Saturday morning at which point we got shared a cab home.

Between 10:30pm and 2am there were a number of developments. We had a number of very personal conversations, and, being fortified with alcohol, I decided to lay my cards on the table. I told her that I really liked her, not just for the obvious reason that she was very beautiful and had especially beautiful eyes, but because she was such a nice, intelligent woman. I said how much I admired her for changing her career (from marketing/market research which she had studied at university), gone back to study sociology at Uni part time and gone to work at a charity, even though it meant working anoyher job part time. I then indicated that I’d really like to spend more time with her and continue to get to know her.

She didn’t seemed phased by this, but thanked me and said how much she admired what I do and that she enjoyed spending time with me and would also like to continue to get to know me more. We continued to talk and she really opened up to me; she told me how her father had questioned what she has done and became upset. I reassured her that I admired her for what she has done and indicated that the only person who has the right to question what she has chosen to do is herself. I reached over the table and tried to comfort her by rubbing her arm; I don’t know if it did any good, but it definitely didn’t do any harm.

At the end of the night when she got out of the cab I reiterated that I really liked her and that I would like to spend more time to get to know her. She said that she really enjoyed herself and that she would definitely make time for this over Christmas. We kissed each other on the cheek (given what had happened earlier I didn’t think it appropriate to try for anything more intimate, though I think she may have been, I’m not too sure) and hugged, and the evening was over.

So people, these were all good signs weren’t they?

Given my lack of patience, I really want to see her again soon. Thus I sent her roses this morning. She SMSed thanking me, saying how beautiful they were and what a pleasant surprise they were and that we would speak soon. The question is do I wait for her to call me, or is it fine for me to call her? People?

Now onto politics. Firstly to answer some things from my pervious post.

Clokeeeey, the role of an anarcho-syndicalist is to educate the workers, not to lead them. Having a leader/leaders means that you are imposing you view upon others, instead of educating them about the way to change things; these changes are then implemented for the common good of all as determined by everybody, not as determined by the few. As for each era building upon the other, my feeling is that each era is about the elite trying to maintain the socio-economic status quo in increasingly sophisticated ways.

AOF, Yes the Greens participate in the Parliamentary system. However they believe in power coming from below. Policy is determined by the entire membership, not imposed from above. That is why, as far as parliamentary parties go, they have much in common with Anacho-syndicalism.

Larry, for the most part I agree with you on the Liberals being a proxy for business. However even given this some Liberal MPs are still better than ALP MPs

Guru, Socialist Alliance still believes in the need for a "revolutionary vanguard", an elite who will concentrate power in their own hands. For this reason I still don’t like them.

Chixilub, I’m not too sure what you are trying to say.

Justine, I don’t have anything more against Al-Queda then any other fundamentalist religious group that uses obscure passages in scriptures to justify bigotry and hatred, like Family First.

Now last Tuesday, like some (hopefully many) of you I participated in the IR rally. It was great to see the number of people there and great to see Bob Brown receive a larger and longer round of applause from the crowd, even the real blue-collar types, then Kim "Fucking useless, spineless bastard" Beazley.

However as I indicated to some of you already I was so disappointed when the ACTU showed the statements from "religious leaders" but didn't have any Islamic leaders. The ACTU should be trying to bring together all people being attacked by the Government and encouraging people to defend those other people under attack. This was the perfect opportunity to do this, but they chose not to. It really disappointed me.

However speaking of Bob Brown, I actually got to meet him on Thursday. My Union has been heavily involved in trying to get the sedition provisions of the anti-freedom bill (officially called the anti-terrorism bill)removed. On our behalf and on behalf of other organisations, two people were appearing before the senate hearing on the bill. I went along and sat in the audience for moral support. Afterwards when we all came together, Bob came up and talked to one of the people who appeared before the hearing and I was introduced to him and briefly talked to him. I have now met the two greatest living Australians; Jack Mundey and Bob Brown.

In terms of the sedition provisions removed, we have the support of the Greens, Democrats and a growing number of Liberal Backbenchers. The ALP? That don’t seem to give a fuck about it. Useless bastards they are.

Currently I am reading a book called "The Emerging Police State" a series of speeches given by a Jewish American lawyer who ought for a free, open and just society.

In a speech given in 1971 he says things that are so relevant to Australia today given the bills the government is trying to pass:

"You have no claim – and when I say you I mean all of us – have no claim that we are better or more righteous people than any other people on earth. That we have better instincts, that we’re finer human being, we’re all the same. When the fright’s grown and you permit it to grow, you too will tolerate any indecency, if you are afraid enough….

I think that this issue of violence on your part or the part of the other groups or individuals I mentioned is being used politically and ethically to destroy; to bring about a situation in which all governmental policies, all of the system’s excesses, will pass without opposition, first subtly, and then not so subtly. And there is a chance that at some time, somewhere in the future, we will suddenly wake up one sad and tragic morning and hear those same boots at the door that the Germans began to hear after 1934, and say to ourselves "My God, did it happen? Where did we go wrong? Why can’t we fight back?" By then it’s much too late, and then it’s all gone and you and I may have to live out another nightmare until it comes right again. That should not happen to human being….

You have to ask yourselves without becoming overly frightened or overly hysterical – if it can happen there, it can happen here. If one nation can go mad, so can another. But it doesn’t come overnight. It is not a sudden climatic epidemic sickness. It is the accumulation of the loss of bits of freedom everywhere that suddenly bring that strange and tragic morning I referred to."

He also says something else that I truly believe:

" I guess what I am trying to say, with as much earnestness as I can muster, is that the only life worth living is one which is devoted to the welfare of others. Everything else – the earning of daily bread, the satisfaction of individual ego, the attainment of personal goals – must remain avocation rather than vocation. Only then can the lasting nature of human interdependence be understood and affirmed."

I really do believe this and have for over 10 years now. Who knows, as I get older, or if I develop family responsibilities this may change. However (and here is where I will tie in the two strains of this post) with the woman referred to earlier in the post I don’t think this will happen, because she seems to share the same belief. And this is why in such a short period of time she has got me hook, line and sinker.

2005-11-14T20:07:00.000+11:00

POLITICS AND OTHER THINGS

After working three straight days of at least 12 hours (12 on Wednesday, 14 on Thursday, 13 on Friday) and having to get up early on Saturday to go to and speak at a protest outside Villawood Detention centre, I was, for want of a better expression, totally fucked by Saturday afternoon. So much so that I went to sleep at 5pm Saturday afternoon and didn’t get up until after 9am Sunday morning. However on Sunday morning I woke up feeling very refreshed and ready to face the world again.

Now in a previous post Mr : Watermelon said:

"How exactly did this blog go from harsh political commentary to soapie?"

and you know what? He has a point. Thus while I was going to do a post in response to a tag this lady I will put this off again and will take this opportunity to explain to this lady what Anarcho-Syndicalism is , while starting off with my analysis of the political parties in Australia I used to comment on this lady’s blog.

However before going onto this a few house-keeping matters:

* The woman (you should all know which one) sent me a text message on Friday apologising for not replying sooner and indicating she still wants to "catch up". Is she still interested? Who knows (or who cares some of you may be thinking). We will see. I think I’ll leave the ball in her court now.

*AOF and Guru, I have to be down in Melbourne definitely for Friday the 25th of November. I have a few other things to do in Melbourne, but I’m not too sure if they will be before or after Friday. Once I’ve decided I will let you and everybody else know; if you want to be regaled with my stories of run-ins with the police and right-wing arseholes for political activities people, let me know.

*Justine, yes I have seen the Dinner Game. In fact it was one of the first movies I brought on DVD. However the ultimate anti-wine movie for me is "Sideways". I’m sorry, I find it hard to feel sorry for the main character given he is a major wine drinker. If it wasn’t for his love of wine I would feel so sorry for him; as it is I feel like tipping the bottles of wine over his head.

* Susanne, to me "Donnie Darko" (DD) and "Edward Scissorhands" (ES) both deal with Teenage alienation; the idea that as a teenager you feel that you hurt the ones you love. In ES Edward literally hurts those people he "touches", people he cares about. In DD, Donnie feels responsible for the death of his girlfriend, because it is he who dragged her to where she was run over. As he says to his mother "how does it feel having a fuck-up for a son?". They also both deal with something that can result from this alienation; teenage suicide. In ES, Edward "disappears" forever to escape the world that he feels (in some ways rightly) hates him. In DD, Donnie "sacrifices" himself for the good of his loved ones. Another thing both movies have in common is their belief in the bigotry that lies beneath the surface of white middle America. In ES, the dull, mindless, white middle class neighbourhood harbours a reservation to Edward and quickly turn on him when a problem arises because he is not one of them. In DD, Donnie’s Parents openly support George Bush (Senior) even though his election campaign was out and out racist, playing on the fear that African-Americans in White middle class America.

Now, my lead in to what Anarch-syndicalism is about is an analysis of the political parties in Australia.

The Liberals; They are pure evil. Their main philosophies are to steal from the poor to give to the rich and that the rich not only have the right to exploit the poor, but that it is the duty of the government to help them do this. They also believe that unless you are a rich, white, Anglo with Fascist leanings, then you are an inferior being whose life is expendable.

The Nationals: They are pure evil too and essentially believe the same thing as the Liberals, except when it comes to farmers. They view farmers as the most noble people on earth, no matter in-bred or how many sheep they have molested. In fact they believe you are not a real farmer unless you are in-bred and molest sheep.

The Australian Labor Party; A strange creature. Most of the parliamentary party and secretariat believe the same things as the Liberals, but the rank and file (ordinary members) and some of the parliamentary party believe the exact opposite. Thus they are a conflicted party that spend more time fighting one another than attacking the government.

One Nation, Australian Against Further Immigration etc: Pure stupidity AND pure evil. They hate Asians and "Ethnics" even though they have never come across any of them. Similarly they hate books and cans of deodorant. They also hold similar views on farmers as the Nationals.

Family First/Christian Democrats: These are religious fundamentalist parties like Al-Queda, except they are Christian fundamentalists. Like Al-Queda they choose obscure lines from the scriptures to justify their bigotry and hate, while ignoring the other 99% of the scriptures that preach love and tolerance of all people. However they are worse than Al-Queda because they also worship at the altar of the almighty dollar and thus support the Liberals economic policy.

Democrats: They often make up their policies as they go. They like to consider themselves socially progressive while being "fiscally responsible"; that is tight arsed economic rationalists. What they fail to realise (or ignore) is that economic rationalism causes social problems, and as such can’t be separated. Thus at times they can appear good; opposing mandatory detention of asylum seekers, and the anti-freedom, I mean anti-terrorism bill. At other times they mimic the Liberals economic policy, eg the GST and the Workplace relations act.

The Greens: A party committed to the equality of all people, regardless of race, gender, sexual preference, religion, social origin etc. Their economic policies are based on the humane ideal that nobody should have more than they need when others are living in poverty.

Anarcho-sydnicalists: They are not actually a party, because they believe the state is the ultimate evil, and as such they cannot participate in it. They hold the same ideals as the Greens, but they believe that this can only be achieved by direct action from working people. All anarcho-syndicalysts are extremely noble and intelligent people.

As the good old Wikipedia says:

Anarcho-syndicalism is a branch of anarchism which focuses on the labor movement, hence the "syndicalism" qualification. Anarcho-syndicalists view labor unions as a potential force for revolutionary social change, replacing capitalism and the state with a new society democratically self-managed by workers. Anarcho-syndicalists seek to abolish the wage system and most forms of private property, which leads to class divisions. The basic principles of anarcho-syndicalism are:

1. Workers’ solidarity
2. Direct Action
3. Worker’s Self management.

However Wikipedia then says:

Some Anarcho-Syndicalists believe that only direct action — that is, action concentrated on directly attaining a goal, as opposed to indirect action, such as electing a representative to a government position — will allow workers to liberate themselves.

In reality, all true Anarcho-Syndicalists believe that only direct action will allow worker’s to liberate themselves. This is what separates them from Marxists/Communists with whom they share some similar views.

Marxists/Communists believe in the need for a "revolutionary vanguard", a political party that will lead the revolution and participate on some level in the political process. For Anarcho-syndicalists this is a heresy; by having an established political party you become part of the state you are trying to overthrow, and by having a party structure, you have a hierarchy which is supposed to be eliminated in a classless society. Thus this is contradictory to, and an impediment to eliminating the state.

The other main area of difference is the arrangement after a revolution. For Marxists/Communists there is the need for the state to be maintained initially via a "dictatorship of the proletariat", which will eventually cause the state to wither away. For Anarcho-Syndicalists, the state must be abolished immediately, otherwise the "dictatorship" will become entrenched and never relinquish power.

YGWIN you referred to me as a "Pinko", though in a nice way. The term "Pinko" was initially used to refer to somebody with Marxist/Communist "sympathies", a "watered down" version of red, the colour traditionally associated with Communists/Marxists. However I don’t have Marxist/Communist sympathies; I have Anarcho-Syndicalist sympathies, whose "political colours" are red and black. Thus you should refer to me as the Grey Pinko, YGWIN.

Well, I think that’s all for now. For those of you who made it to the end, Well done!

2005-11-09T20:48:00.000+11:00

THE SHAPE OF THINGS

People, I owe you an apology. I know I should have posted earlier, but unfortunately I didn’t feel up to it, and I am snowed under with work and refugee work.

Well, late on Thursday afternoon, I received an SMS from her asking if I could come over another day. If someone had of punched me in the stomach or kicked me in the groin then I could not have felt worse. I SMS’d her back saying to let me know whenever is good for her. So far she hasn’t. On Monday I SMS’d her asking how the assignment was going; I’ve received no response.

I realise she is probably very busy with her assignment, but it doesn’t look good. Which leads me to ask; what is wrong with me? I mean, we seem to have so much in common, and she seems like such a thoroughly nice and decent person. Am I that hideous, because that is the only conclusion I can reach. Who knows maybe she will contact me soon, but I am not holding my breath. I like the woman, but I don’t feel up to contacting her again and being made to feel like shit.

On top of that, I am snowed under with work (8;30pm and still at work), much of which revolves around opposing the sedition provisions of the Anti-terrorism bill, and the draconian IR legislation, as well my usual things demanding humane treatment of refugees outside of work. What a great fucking world, country and society we live in.

In one of those strange coincidences, of those few people who read this blog, most of you are from Melbourne. After 6 months of putting it off, I will be down in Melbourne for work; people look out for the sad, hideous figure, who seems to have lost the last vestige of his sanity; that will be me.

2005-11-03T10:07:00.000+11:00

LOVE LIFE UPDATE

Thank you all, ladies and gentleman for the advice and encouragement. I should say that I am more of a reader than a writer; thus please don’t feel snubbed if I don’t respond to your comments immediately; it may take a few days (I have responded to your comments on my last post).

Taking on the advice from some of you, I put into action a fourth plan. Talking last Friday, I found out that she has recently begun to like I band that I also like and have a number of CDs of. Thus I decided I would burn copies of them, call her up and ask her if she would like me to drop it off at her place.

After 3 hours of trying to pick up the phone and call her, I finally settled the butterflies in my stomach and called her. I told her I burned the CDs for her and asked her if she would like to drop them around her place in the next day or two. She said she would like that.

We then proceeded to talk for the next hour on her job, my job and the general state of society. This is a good sign isn’t it? I Should also mention that in our conversations, 60% of the time it is her talking, 40% of the time it is me talking; ask anybody who knows me, this is unheard of, me letting someone else dominate the conversation. She also apologised in advance for the state of her apartment and her own state given she is focusing on her assessment. Again, this is a good sign isn’t it?

Well, tonight I go around to her place to drop the CDs off. Here’s to hoping it goes well.

2005-10-31T16:18:00.000+11:00

WHERE TO FROM HERE?

I’m sure that you have all been faced with the situation where you have built up somebody so much in your mind, that when you actually see them you can’t help but feel a little disappointed.

Well that’s what happened on Friday night. Upon seeing my date I couldn’t help but feel that "This is the person who has been on my mind constantly for the last week?" However by the end of the night, this feeling had totally evaporated and I was even more captivated by her. It just goes to show that looks aren’t what is important, but a person’s intelligence and personality. That’s not to say that she is "physically" unattractive; I wouldn’t change a thing about the way she looks. It’s just that this is secondary to personality and intelligence.

Due to few different things (mainly women getting ready issues) things started a bit late, and as a result we ended up missing the play we were going to see. However I’m actually really glad this happened, because it meant we spent more time talking. After we had dinner we went and had a few drinks, where we talked, essentially for about 5 straight hours. Only once at the end of the evening was there one of those awkward silences, but this only lasted for about 15 to 20 seconds. I was just really enjoying myself listening to her and looking into her beautiful blue eyes. The more she talked, the more I learnt about her and the more I liked (loved?) her. Eventually it ended, as she was tired (she works 2 jobs and studies part time, so I can totally understand) and had an assignment to do the next day, and I had to get up early for a protest outside Villawood detention centre.

However the end of the night came, and it wasn’t until she was about to get out of the car that I indicated, in a very pissweak way it must be said (you’d think things would get easier as you got older) how much I enjoyed spending time with her and asked if after she would like to actually go see the play we had missed in two weekends time when she had finished her assessments.

Now this is where the problems begin. She said that yes, after she had finished her assessments she would like to "catch up" with me. Now maybe I am I am totally wrong, but "catch up" seems to be something you do with friends, not somebody you are romantically interested in. However she then said to me that after assignments were over and she was less tired and stressed she wouldn’t be as boring and would be more "fun". Now again, this may be wrong, but this seems to be more like something you would say to somebody you may be romantically interested in.

Thus I am at a loss. Three other potentially relevant pieces of information; Firstly she said she cancelled a get together with a friend on Friday to "go out" with me. Secondly after I we missed the play I suggested we go to a movie, but she said she would prefer to go and have a few drinks instead, because she was tired and afraid she would fall asleep in it. Thirdly I SMSd her on Saturday saying how much I enjoyed her company; she SMSd me back saying she also had a good time.

Now analysing the events (I am always told that I over analyse things) there are a number of different possibilities:

1. She thought I had initially asked her out as a friend thing, more than on a date, and thinks that I have also asked her out as a friend again.
2. She thought I had initially asked her out as a friend thing, more than on a date but now realises I asked her out on a date and doesn’t feel that way about me.
3. She thought I had initially asked her out as a friend thing, more than on a date, but now realises I asked her out on a date and isn’t sure how she feels about me.
4. She thought I had initially asked her out as a friend thing, more than on a date, but now realises I asked her out on a date and thinks she may also like me in that way.
5. She knows I asked her out on a date, but now realises she doesn’t feel attracted to me.
6. She knows I asked her out on a date, but still isn’t sure how she feels about me.
7. She knows I asked her out on a date, and is attracted to me.

Now as I said, I really like (love?) this woman. As I see it I have three options:

1. Wait until she finishes her assessments in two weeks time then arrange to go out with her again. This would seem to make the most sense. However these next two weeks will be hell; the last three days alone have dragged on unbearably; I find it difficult to enjoy the taste of chaos concert on Saturday because I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Even worse is if we go out and she tells me she isn’t interested in me in romantic way; to see her and talk to he again would just make this so much more painful, even though it will be painful regardless.

2. Let her know how I feel about her prior to this by sending her roses. This would seem to be the best way of finding out where things stand quickly, and it may even help her to make up her mind if it is undecided, though this could be in either direction; she may find it romantic or she may find it too quick too soon.

3. Get in contact with our common friend to see if she can find out anything. This would involve the least embarrassment to me if she wasn’t attracted to me, though it is also extremely adolescent to do this. It should also be noted that our common friend is in England at the moment, and even when in Australia she is not very reliable.

So that is where I am at. Where to from here? Please people, your thoughts; which is the most likely scenario (I suppose this is more directed to you ladies) in terms of her feelings given the above and which of the above three should I do? I am so conflicted here.

2005-10-25T18:15:00.000+10:00

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy

Well, my talk on Saturday went well, and the Refugee conference as whole went well; we were expecting 50 people, thought 100 would be phenomenal, and as such we were pleased with the 80 to 90 people who turned up.

As for the other matter on Saturday, throughout the morning I looked out for the woman who I had met at the Ashfield Carnival of Cultures. I especially hoped she would come to my session so I could show off in front of her, you know, like a teenage boy (I readily admit I still act like a child). However wishing didn’t make it so.

I went out to Lunch, and upon returning I noticed she had turned up. I went up to her we talked a little bit. I followed her to the sessions she went to and sat down next to her, without acting like too much of a stalker. We talked a bit more, and guess what? We seemed to (for want of a better expression) "hit it off". We went to a refugee art collection opening after the conference, talked for a few hours together and seemed to share a fair bit in common. At the end of the night, we shared a cab home, and even before I could ask her out, she offered me her number, then realised I had it, and asked for my number, which I gave to her. We are likely going to see a play this Friday night. Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy.

Things I have learnt about her already that I really like:

1. She is of Slavic Background – A mixture of Eastern and Western Slavic
2. She really cares about the refugee issue in Australia
3. She doesn’t own a car
4. She grew up in the same area as me, a very working class area
5. She now lives in the same area as me, which is very ethnically diverse
6. She is a bit of a movie buff
7. She is doing a Masters Degree in Sociology at my old University
8. One of her old school friends who she still keeps in contact with is an old work friend of mine who I still keep in contact with, and who I really trust and like.
9. She seems very pro-union and pro-workers rights
Oh and
10. She has the most beautiful blue eyes, which are highlighted be her long dark hair.

On the negative side, she does drink wine, but given all of the above, I am ready to not let this be an issue.

To top off a great weekend, I spent a few hours with my ten month old Nephew on Sunday. He gets more adorable every time I see him. He loves it when I lift him up as high as possible and then lower his face right down to my face, but strangely he doesn’t seem to enjoy it when other people do it. He has also started giving people hugs, predominantly my little Nieces, and his Mother and Father, though he did give me two as well; It is such a great feeling.

Why can’t all weekends be like this?

2005-10-20T18:27:00.000+10:00

REFUGEES

On Monday night the refugee group I am a member of got word that a man was about to be deported "home" to Bangladesh, even though he had lived in Australia for 13 years. Recently there have been other 300 acts of violence by Islamic fundamentalists in Bangladesh (not that we here about it in the news; hey these people are dark-skinned, there lives aren’t worth as much as a white peoples) who want Sharia law introduced. As someone opposed to this fundamentalism the man did not want go back to such a situation. Our government didn’t care and wanted to deport him.

Thus some of us went out to the airport. We knew we wouldn’t be able to directly stop his deportation as he wouldn’t be going through the main lounge and we weren’t too sure what flight he was on. However we hoped to let people who would be on his flight know about this so that they would protest, refuse to get seated and thus stop the flight from taking off until he was removed from the plane (this had happened before). Thus we went to the departure gate and held up signs, my one saying "Is someone handcuffed and guarded on your flight? Protest and don’t let it take of!".

Surprisingly the federal police and airport security didn’t kick us out like they have previously because we were just standing there silently, though they did monitor us very heavily. When one of our group approached people to talk about it she was warned that is she continued this she would be kicked out. Most people read our signs silently, some made derogatory comments, some made positive comments. From what we understand the man was deported. At times like these I am so ashamed to be Australian and despise the absolute majority of my fellow Australians who vote for parties that support such policies. There is a part of me that almost wishes that there were terrorist (whatever that means) attacks on Australian soil so that people would understand the sort of terror refugees are fleeing from.

This Saturday at UTS in Sydney there is a refugee rights conference on "Where to now for the refugee Movement". As some of our more qualified speakers (people with PHDs) have had to pull out for a number of reasons, I have agreed to be on the "History of Australian response to immigrants and refugees" panel. Even though I know a fair bit about this, I have a bit of reading to do in the next few days so I don’t make an ass of myself. Well so I at least don’t make a major ass of myself. It’s difficult for me not make at least a bit of an ass of myself generally

I’m really hoping that the Slavic girl with the gorgeous eyes I talked to on the issue at the Ashfield Carnival of Cultures turns up. It will brighten up what has been a very depressing week since Monday night.

2005-10-14T18:00:00.000+10:00

20 THINGS ABOUT ME

Well I’ve been tagged by
Justine so here are 20 facts about me:

1. I hate my middle name: John. So boring and conservative. I dream about changing it to Krzysztof.

2. After a really heavy, and I mean REALLY heavy, night of drinking I have been taken in an ambulance to hospital and had my stomach pumped.

3. I love Punk/Emo/Hardcore music and despise Dance, Techno, House, R’n’B, Hip Hop, Rap and Heavy Metal.

4. I suffer from severe bi-polar disorder (my posts don’t give it away do they?)

5. I have one big bourgeois extravagance; I am a huge movie buff, and have over 600 DVDs and 200 Videos. However I hate your typical Hollywood Blockbuster; give me European Cinema any day.

6. I have lived one of my dreams; I got to go up to John Howard one day and abuse him.

7. I was raised as a devout Roman Catholic, but I am now a die hard atheist.

8. I don’t have a driver’s license, or obviously, a car. I have made a conscience decision to never own a car; they are so destructive to the environment and people can do without them.

9. Rather than go into the legal profession after I left university I worked as a storeman. Seriously.

10. At the age of 29 nothing makes me more nervous than asking a woman out. I have no problem standing up to give a speech in front of hundreds of people I don’t know on 5 minutes notice (I have done this on a number of occasions) but asking a woman out still scares the living daylights out of me.

11. The love of my life at the moment is my ten month old Nephew: I look forward to seeing, nursing and kissing him more than anything else in the world.

12. I usually read 2 or 3 books a week.

13. I can play the saxophone.

14. Some of my ancestors were members of Genghis Khan’s army that settled in what is modern day Ukraine.

15. The first band I ever saw perform live was Roxette. What the hell was I thinking?

16. I know how to swear in Arabic.

17. In case you don’t know, I love watching the Simpsons. I will never tire of this show.

18. My entire "professional life" (you know those jobs that require a degree, even though you rarely, if ever, use it) has been spent working for Unions.

19. I haven’t had a holiday in 5 years, and in the same time I have only had one sick day.

20. Um, my eyes are a mixture of Blue and Green. When the light is dark they look very green, when the light is bright they look very blue.

So who do I tag. Well firstly, despite her lies, AOF . Hmmm, then how about
woman with a patch fetish
Oh and then the lady with the
Luscious Lips
Lastly there is the
Russian Princess
Oh, why not one more the
Emo Girl

2005-10-10T20:53:00.000+10:00

ETHICAL DILEMMA

Sunday was the Ashfield Carnival of Cultures, a celebration of the ethnic diversity of the Ashfield Council area, arguably the most ethnically diverse council area in the Inner West of Sydney (Marrickville would be the only other council area that may be more diverse).

The refugee rights group I am a member of went along to hand out flyers on the mandatory detention of Asylum Seekers, particularly the Chinese (the largest group in detention at the moment; about 200 people). Given the large Chinese Australian population in Ashfield we had the flyer translated into Mandarin, which was very well received, as was our presence as whole; the positive comments far outweighed the negative ones.

We also had a sign up list for our email group. While at our little stall (essentially a card table with info) a woman came up, who was obviously interested in the issue. We talked for a while about the issue, which she seemed to have quite a good knowledge of. At the end she signed up to our email and SMS list.

Given her interest in the refugee issues and her intelligence, and the fact that she had extremely beautiful eyes, I had to say I found her very attractive. Looking at her name and realising she was Slavic made her even more so. As I have her phone number and our list, the big ethical dilemma is do I get her phone number off the list to call her and ask her out?

In the previous union I worked for there was a member I really liked, but I didn't think it appropriate to ask her out until I was leaving the job. I didn't think it was right to do this as it may have presented an obstacle to her contacting me for advice as a member if she said found my asking her out awkward.

I am thus confronted by a similar dilemma. Hopefully she will turn up to an event of ours soon and become active in the group. After a short while, I would ask her out so that she would then be comfortable with the group as a whole and thus wouldn’t be scared away if she found my actions awkward. However if she doesn't, is it right for me to ask her out and possibly risk forming a barrier to her becoming involved at a later time? People, guidance?

2005-10-02T11:37:00.000+10:00

HOPE AND SACRIFICE?

2 Weekends ago there was the Marrickville by-election in Sydney for the NSW Parliament. The Evil fuckwits (aka the Liberals) decided not to run a candidate, so essentially the contest was between the other evil, though not as evil as the Liberals, fuckwits (aka the ALP) and The Greens. Despite the fact that the seat was a safe ALP seat, the ALP was worried. Putting up a homophobic candidate in Carmel Tebutt, the wife of ALP "left" (yeah right, ALP parliamentarians being left) powerbroker Mr Anthony "I can’t keep my dick in my pants for two minutes" Albanese, in an electorate with a large Gay and Lesbian population doesn’t help, but does show the arrogance of the ALP.

On election day there was a sense that an upset may be possible, and the booth I was working at more people took Greens flyers exclusively from me than took ALP flyers exclusively from the ALP volunteers. In the end the ALP got about 49% of the primary vote, the Greens 38% (though the booth I was working was won by the Greens). Obviously there was a sense of disappointment that the Greens didn’t win, but at the same time the fact that they got 38% of the primary vote is something to be positive and optimistic about. Slowly, but surely, The Greens vote is increasing. Is there hope for society after all?

I also recently got to meet and talk to the greatest living Australian: Jack Mundey. For those of you who don’t know who Jack Mundey was, he was the General Secretary of the NSW Building Labourers’ Federation (BLF). Under Jack and his cohorts Bob Pringle and Joe Owens, the NSW BLF was noted for the implementation of Green Bans that stopped the destruction of The Rocks, The State Theatre, the Regent Theatre to name a few and protected numerous parks and pieces of bush from being developed. They also protected low income housing in parts of Sydney from being developed into office blocks and luxury apartments. While this in itself would have made Jack, Bob and Joe great, they also lead the NSW BLF on greater social justice campaigns; equal rights for woman, homosexuals and Aboriginals, they fought against teams from Apartheid South Africa playing in Australia, and fought for prisoners rights. On top of that they also greatly improved the working conditions and wages of their largely unskilled members in the building industry. In the end they were destroyed by business interests, established political parties and their own federal leadership based in Victoria (bloody Victorians).

What contributes to them being so great was their commitment to democracy; the ideals weren’t imposed on the NSW BLF membership; all these actions were voted for and supported by the members of the NSW BLF. These people were largely unskilled, uneducated labourers, who were willing to sacrifice their wages for the greater good of all of society. But then again so was their leadership; when the members went on strike, the NSW BLF leadership agreed that they should not be paid also, and all elected positions were for limited tenure.

It was a remarkable time, and Jack was, and still is, a remarkable person. He showed that it was possible to appeal to the decency in people. I think about this as I sit at work on Sunday waiting to give a talk at a Free China rally this afternoon, after having to get up nice and early to give a talk for work. Maybe there is hope that through the sacrifice of some people, that a just, equal and fair society will emerge.

2005-09-22T11:51:00.000+10:00

THE CHOICES WE MAKE . . . . .AND MUSIC (Part 2)

In response to my last post, the lovely Justine said: "men in suits don't get roots". Now I don’t know about that, but in my own personal experience I know that men with principles get dumped.

The strange thing is that if I was purely after getting "roots" this aspect of life would be tolerable (though not good). That is not to say that I have many women throwing themselves at me, but every once in a while a woman (sometimes who purely on looks alone seem to be way out of my league) seems willing to sleep with me after I have only just met them. Once in particular I was confounded by a woman, who most of the men at the BBQ I was at had been hitting on, after talking with her, asked me if I wanted to come back to her place that night. My response was "I don’t think I can, I have to get up early for work tomorrow" There was a part of me that regretted that (and part of me still does, again purely on looks she was a stunner).

However I believe that sex is an intimate act between two people that should not occur willy-nilly. Now I’m not a Christian, so I don’t believes that you should save yourself for marriage, I just think sex is too intimate to have with someone you just met; for me it is an indication that I have particular feelings for a person. If sex isn’t an intimate act, but something that is just done purely just for fun and not an indication of any feelings for that person, why would you get upset if you partner "cheated" on you with another person? If it isn’t an indication of greater feelings, why shouldn’t your partner be able to sleep with another person?

But that’s off the point. What I have encountered in woman who I have gone out with, and who I have had feelings for but have dumped me, are two main reasons for why they have dumped me. These reasons are based on the choices I have made; my career choices and my political/social activism (Even though I hate the word activism; does anybody have a better name for it?). I tend to get dumped by woman who I care about because I am too serious, or not serious enough.

When I get dumped because I am too serious, it not because they disagree with my career choice, but because I believe in fighting for what I believe. It is also because I don’t believe in going out and getting pissed/stoned/coked off my face etc. as often as possible and "dancing" too shithouse R’n’B, hip-hop, techno, dance and other such crap while pissed/stoned etc. I’m sorry, this does nothing for me and seems a perfect example of Western decadence, which I so hate. I would much rather watch an intelligent movie (which rules out anything shown at Greater Union/Hoyts), go watch soe theatre or see a band play live or engage in an intellectual discussion.

When I get dumped because I am not serious enough, it is not because they disagree with how I choose to spend my leisure time, but because I don’t take my career seriously enough. According to them I should be doing a job that will provide for my future, which would allow me to buy a house and car, instead of doing a job that reeks of "teen rebellion" against society. As I said in my previous post, I made a career choice to do what I believe in, and for better or worse I won’t (or can’t because of my personal convictions) change.

Now you may say that obviously if these woman feel this way, why would you want to go out with them. I have gone out once or twice with a woman who quite frankly is a bimbo, and as such things have quickly ended. However normally I am very choosy with who I go out with when it comes to their politics and personality (if they vote Liberal, I will not go out with them full stop). As such the few women I do go out with are decent, nice people for the most part. So what does this say about me? Besides if they aren’t "right" for me, where are the woman who are, because I’ve yet to come across one.

Which brings me again to my love of Punk/Hardcore/Emo music. Nothing quite expresses the anger and anguish I feel over the failure of my personal relationships quite like Punk/Hardcore/Music. Thus when feeling down about this, I listening to this help me. Below are some of my favourite lyrics that really express my anger and anguish.

Bayside - "Just Enough To Love You"

Push me out from the darkness
To a sky that's coloured blue
Somewhere someone's finding happiness
While I'm still here so hung up on you

Nothing is real
And I want you to know
That I'm not alright
When you tear open my chest
I'll try not to flinch
I won't make promises
I won't make promises
You taught me that.
I'm still losing what's left of my self esteem
And I'm still watching the slow fading of all my daydreams

The hardest things to say are the words that mean the most
So I'll bite my tongue til it bleeds and I doubt you'll even know
The easiest things to fake are feelings to fool someone else
And I've been tricked for so long by you that I spent these last few months in my own hell

A failed apology
A day too late but now I see
That all you really want's to see me dangle neck first from a tree
But what would you need me for
You've got friends galore
And all you've ever been to me is a waste of time and nothing more

Nothing is real (Nothing is real)
and I want you to know (and I want you to know)
That I'm not alright (That I'm not alright)
When you tear (tear open my chest) open my chest
(I'll try not to flinch) I'll try not to flinch
(I won't make promises) I won't make promises
(I won't make promises) You taught me that

I hate myself
For loving you like this
And I hate myself for hating myself
Just enough to love you
Just enough to love you

Anberlin – "Naïve Orleans"

Hearts now severed
Difference of forever
And I am lost there

And I finally found that life goes on without you
And the world still turns when you're not around
And I finally found that life goes on without you
And the world still turns when you're not around

Silverstein – "Smashed Into Pieces"

Never Again.
I'll slit my throat with the knife I pulled out of my spine.
Maybe when you find out that I'm dead,
you'll realise what you did to me.

[Chorus]
And if my lungs still let me breathe,
would you be there for me.
If I can make myself believe,
I'll give you back what you took away.

No, I won't let it go.
Douse myself in gasoline.
So don't save me when you come into the fire.
I'd rather die than have to see your smile.

Hawthorne Heights – "Ohio is for Lovers"

And I can't make it on my own.
(And I can't make it on my own.)
Because my heart is in Ohio.
So cut my wrists and black my eyes.
(Cut my wrists and black my eyes)
So I can fall asleep tonight, or die.
Because you kill me.
You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You never stop until my final breath is gone.

Spare me just three last words.
"I love you" is all she heard.
I'll wait for you, but I can't wait forever.

Senses Fail – "One Eight Seven"

It's so nice sitting very still, in a room where no one else can feel the pain that breaks my heart each day, I'm not ok.
Sunlight shining through my window, let's me know that I'm still alive
Why did I ever let you inside my heart? I'm such a fool.
Paint my face in shades of blood and grey and take a seat right next to me
Well I should've known that you were a killer.
But now I'm dead.

A gaping hole, shot through my heart
A lost connection from your poison dart
Shot from your tongue to end my life.
You're blowing at the fire to light your strife.

You'll never know.
The hardest thing about dying is, knowing you'll never see the light of day.

A gaping hole shot...(shot through my heart)
A lost connection from your poison dart.
My head now spins and my ears bleed gold.
I try so fucking hard, but I can't fit your mould.

You ripped my heart out, you tore my eyes out, now you're gonna pay
I'll stab you one time.
I'll eat your heart out so you feel my pain.
Don't you know that I always see you in all of my dreams?
I wanna kill you, but now I'm insane

Motion City Soundtrack – "When "You’re" Around"

The rumors start to rise
Did truly do the things that "you've" described?
They must hate me, every single one
It just sickens them what I consider fun

But all I could do was close my eyes
And cross my arms and hope to die
Cause "you" don't fucking listen when I'm around
The least "you" could do is take it back;
All the vicious remarks and verbal attacks
Cause I can't fucking stand it
When "you're" around

2005-09-15T20:27:00.000+10:00

THE CHOICES WE MAKE . . . . .AND MUSIC

A few years ago now (it seems like an eternity) I had a decision to make. I would be graduating from Uni with a Law degree (and an Arts degree) and had been asked to apply for a job with a medium sized law firm and been offered a job by a local solicitor to work with him. I could also have applied for one of the big law firms. Sure, in all three cases the jobs would be boring, but in a few years I could be raking in the money.

There was just one problem. My conscience. Such work seemed frivolous, or even downright evil (corporate law? Conveyancing? Ugh). Thus I had a decision to make. Take a job that would pay me potentially great money, but that I knew wasn’t right? Or choose to do something else more in line with my beliefs even though it wouldn’t likely pay well?

I chose the second option; I went to work in the Union movement, and while the pay isn’t horrible, it isn’t great either; I try to avoid people I went to uni with because I don’t want to hear about how much they earn. And for the most part I don’t have regrets about my decision; I enjoy my work and find it rewarding.

However there are times when things get to me and I wonder about my decision; I look at the world and see how little difference I am making and think "Why should I give a shit when nobody else does? Maybe I should see if I can start a career in corporate law and earn shitloads of money; I mean I have had more than a few lawyers tell me I am smart enough to do it." As a big movie buff, I see wide-screen Plasma Televisions and wish I could buy one, but it isn’t going to happen on my salary. Or, in an extremely rare moment for me, I saw a multi-coloured blazer the other day that looked great (because it, and anybody wearing I,t would stand out as being different, and not a sheep), but it cost $380 and I can’t afford a $380 blazer. This causes me even more consternation, and even a sense of regret.

Melbourne punk Band Blueline Medic (watch them live if you get the chance, so much energy) sum things up nicely in their song "Making the Nouvea Riche" :

You say I have to get a real life
But I'm not sure how that in making someone or other rich
Is any more real than making
A niche for yourself
I’m without a zack, a truth, a coin, a kopeck,
Or an elusive brass razoo
But my dear rationalist
Don't dream I couldn't care
I too grow quickly bored
Of the clothes I wear
So maybe I should go and get a real life
Real life scrapping a deposit together

I made my choice, full well knowing what it would entail. I could change my decision now, but it would destroy who I am and the things about me that I like.

Inevitably the feelings of regret pass, mainly with the help of Punk/Hardcore/Emo music, often while doing some weights to get all the aggression out of me.

The politics and emotion punk, and it’s off-shoots Hardcore and Emo, often reflect my politics, and my feelings of anger and despair. It’s also good to know that there are others out there that feel the same as me. That is why these are my favourite types of music, music that, surprisingly to most people, helps me relax.

Thus, even though it will make this post ridiculously long, I am going to include some my favourite political punk/emo/hardcore lyrics (not all the song, just my favourite parts). I recommend you listen to these songs.

PROPAGANDHI - "The Only Good Fascist Is A Very Dead Fascist"

Swastikas and Klan-robes. Sexist, racist, homophobes.
Aryan-Nations and Hammerskins: you can wear my nuts on your nazi chins!
God, I love a man in uniform!
(But, uh, before we get too intimate here, big fella):
what exactly are the great historical accomplishments of "your" race that make you proud to be white?
Capitalism? Slavery? Genocide? Sitcoms? Guns? War? Pollution? Addiction? NAFTA? Thigh-Master?
This is your fucking white-history, my "friend".
So why don't we start making a history worth being proud of and start fighting the real fucking enemy:
the white male capitalist supremacist.

RISE AGAINST – "Blood Red, White and Blue"

would God bless a murder of the innocents?
would God bless a war based on pride?
would God bless a money-hungry government? no

would God bless our ineffective court system?
God bless the sweatshops we run.
would God bless America?
God bless America

ALKALINE TRIO – "We’ve had enough"

In the darkness where the angels cry
Give us water, give us back our eyes
Our bed's this concrete floor, and it's all we have left to live for
A day we'll never face
We're only second-handed, sick, and lonely
Fighting back the tears and every urge to Van Gogh both our ears….

That said, we've had enough
Please turn that fucking radio off
Ain't nothing on the air waving the despair we feel
That said, we've had enough
Put "Walk Among Us" on and turn it up
Ain't nothing on the air waving the hatred we feel

BAD RELIGION – "Sorrow"
father, can you hear me?
How have i let you down?
I curse the day that i was born,
And all the sorrow in the world...
Let me take you to the herding ground,
Where all good men are trampled down,
Just to settle a bet that could not be won,
Between a prideful father and his son.
Well you guard me now for i can't see,
A reason for this suffering and this long misery.

ANTI-FLAG – "Turncoat"

States lies dressed up as evening news
We're tired of lies we want the truth
Broadcast by corpses courting you
We're tired of lies we want the truth
Most people they will never know
We're tired of lies we want the truth
With your or against you?

Then I am against you because you're a...
TURNCOAT! KILLER! LIAR! THIEF!
Criminal with protection of the law
TURNCOAT! KILLER! LIAR! THIEF!

Criminal with protection of the law
In your corner
Makes me wanna
Douse myself in gasoline!
Civil servants fall in line for you
Too brainwashed to see the truth
You use anyone you can!

NOFX – "Franco Un-American"

I never looked around, never second-guessed
Then I read some Howard Zinn now I'm always depressed
And now I can't sleep from years of apathy
All because I read a little Noam Chomsky

I'm eating vegetation, 'cause of Fast Food Nation
I'm wearing uncomfortable shoes 'cause of globalization
I'm watching Michael Moore expose the awful truth
I'm listening to Public Enemy and Reagan Youth

I see no world peace 'cause of zealous armed forces
I eat no breath-mints 'cause they're from de-hoofed horses

2005-09-08T16:05:00.000+10:00

HUMAN CONDUCT AND SOCIETY

People, I will warn you that this post isn’t a particularly happy one (are any of my posts?); in fact it is quite pessimistic and fatalistic (again). Sorry, but that is my feelings about the world at present.

Currently I am re-reading "This was for the Gas, Ladies and Gentlemen" by Tadeusz Borowski.

Taduesz was a Polish writer who was sent to Auschwitz-Birkenau during World War 2. He was lucky in that three weeks prior to his arrival it was decided that, with a few special exceptions, only Jews were to be gassed to death (Auschwitz was originally built by the Germans as a concentration camp for Poles, and the first people to be gassed to death there were Soviet prisoners of war and Poles). As a Polish "Aryan" he was no longer certain to be gassed to death, though he was liable to be killed in a number of other ways, including execution, being beaten to death, through starvation or disease, or just being killed for the fun of it.

However he was lucky enough to survive (as was his girlfriend who was also in Auschwitz) and at the end of the war found himself in the allied occupied part of Germany, then Paris. However instead of staying in the West, he decided to go back to Communist Poland, because he found the West too greedy, selfish and materialistic. Upon returning to Poland he threw himself in with the Communist authorities in trying to rebuild a new Poland. However he soon realised the hypocrisy of Poland’s Communist leaders, and realising that human nature is the same the world over, regardless of the political system, he killed himself in 1951; he gassed himself to death.

"This way for the Gas, Ladies and Gentlemen" is a series of semi-autobiographical stories 'written' by one of the inmates of Auschwitz-Birkenau recounting his experiences. What separates his work from traditional holocaust/WW2 literature is that in his work there are no victims and persecutors, innocent and guilty; everybody is guilty. Those who survived did so at the expense of others; sometimes at the expense of their family and friends. Those that were gassed were gassed because they didn’t resist, they went without putting up a struggle in the hope that salvation would come at the last moment. As such there was nothing noble about those that survived or died, or about the human race generally. In the book he says:

"We said that there is no crime that a man will not commit in order to save himself. And having saved himself, he will commit crimes for increasingly trivial reasons; he will commit them first out of duty, then out of habit and finally – for pleasure.

We told them with much relish all about our difficult, patient, concentration-camp existence which had taught us that the whole world is really like the concentration camp; the weak work for the strong, and if they have no strength or the will to work – then let them steal, or let them die.

The world is ruled by neither justice nor morality; crime is not punished nor virtue rewarded, one is forgotten as quickly as the other. The world is ruled by power and power is obtained with money. To work is senseless, because money cannot be obtained through work but through exploitation of others. And if we cannot exploit as much as we wish, at least let as work as little as we can. Moral duty? We believe neither in the morality of man, nor in the morality of systems. In German cities the store windows are filled with books and religious objects, but the smoke from the crematoria still hover above the forests…

…Responsibility for the world? But can a man living in a world such as our be responsible even for himself? It is not our fault that the world is bad, and we do not want to die changing it. We want to live – that is all."

Which brings us to another thing that separated him from other Holocaust writers. For most Holocaust writers, and people in general, the Holocaust and WW2 were an aberration in human history, perpetrated by a group of people who were unique in history because of how evil they were. For Tadeusz this was nonsense; all human being are capable of such evil, and in fact such evil has been perpetrated throughout history; what WW2 did was take this evil to it’s next logical step; in an industrialised society it used industrial machinery and techniques to kill people. He says:

"We are laying the foundation for some new, monstrous civilisation. Only now do I realise what price was paid for building ancient civilisations. The Egyptian pyramids, the temples and Greek Statutes – what a hideous crime they were! How much blood must have poured on to the Roman roads, the bulwarks, and the city walls. Antiquity – tremendous concentration camp where the slave was branded on the forehead by his master, and crucified for trying to escape! Antiquity – the conspiracy of free men against slaves!

You know how much I used to like Plato. Today I realise he lied. For the things of this world are not a reflection of the ideal, but a product of human sweat, blood and hard labour. It is we who built the pyramids, hewed the marble for the temples and the rocks for the imperial roads, we who pulled the oars in the galleys and dragged wooden ploughs, while they wrote dialogues and dramas, rationalised their intrigues by appeals in the name of the Fatherland, made wars over boundaries and democracies. We were filthy and died real deaths. They were ‘aesthetic’ and carried on subtle debates.

There can be no beauty if it is paid for by human injustice, nor truth that passes over injustice in silence, nor moral virtue that condones it.

What does ancient history say about us? It knows the crafty slave from Terence and Plautus, it knows the people’s tribunes, the brothers Gracchi and the name of one slave – Spartacus.

They are the ones who have made history, yet the murderer – Scipio – the lawmakers – Cicero or Demosthenes – are the men remembered today. We rave over the extermination of the Etruscans, the destruction of Carthage, over treason, deceit, plunder. Roman law! Yes, today too there is law.

If the Germans win the war, what will the world know about us? They will erect huge buildings, highways, factories, soaring monuments. Our hands will be placed under every brick, and our backs will carry the steel rails and slabs of concrete. They will kill off our families, our sick, our aged. They will murder our children.

And we shall be forgotten, drowned out by the voices of the poets, the jurists, the philosophers, the priests. They will produce their own beauty, virtue and truth. They will produce religion."

However one does not have to go back to ancient history to see 'Great Civilisations' built on suffering and death.

The British Empire came about through the invasion of other people’s lands and the slaughter of the native inhabitants, and was fuelled by an industrial revolution built on the backs and deaths of hundreds of thousands of working men, women and children.

The USA, the world’s only remaining superpower, was built on the slaughter of the indigenous inhabitants of North America and fuelled by the enslavement and murder of Africans.

Even Australia was built on the invasion of Aboriginal land and slaughter of the Aboriginal people and was fuelled by forced deportation of Pacific Islanders to Australia and the "convicts" deported to Australia for such crimes as stealing bread to feed the their families.

But the British Empire, the USA and Australia are looked upon favourably, just like Ancient Rome, Greece and Egypt, as opposed to Nazi Germany which is looked down upon.

The question is, will societies look upon Nazi Germany one day favourably, like Ancient Greece, Rome and Egypt or the USA, the British Empire, and Australia are looked upon favourably? Will society one day marvel at the industrial and technological advancements of Nazi Germany just as the industrial and technological advancements of the USA and Britain are marvelled at? Will one day groups of tourists visit the concentration camp at Auschwitz and admire it, in the same way tourists visit the Egyptian pyramids and admire it?

2005-09-01T18:50:00.000+10:00

TIME

No I’m not dead (unfortunately in some ways) I just haven’t posted for a while. Thank you those of you that stopped by and inquired as to how I was going and what I was doing.

I haven’t been feeling the best both mentally and physically recently. On top of that something I helped organise recently drained me emotionally. All of which made me feel, despite the fact that I got to speak to the sexiest woman alive the other day (Kerry Nettle), like “The world is fucked and I hate the human race”. You know, my usual thing. However I decided to spare you from listening to this. Well until now.

A few days ago I almost got hit by a van. You know, one of those things were the van screeches to a halt a few centimetres away from you (the driver wasn’t looking where he was going). It started me thinking, if the van would have hit and killed me what would have happened? Would the world have been worse off without me, or would it have been better off without me?

Now if I died, obviously (well I hope) my family and friends would have been upset. But would my death have made the world a worse place to live? And thinking about it, I couldn’t see how my death would make the world worse.

However given the fact that I live in a first world country and consume way too much crap I don’t need, which adds to the scarcity of the world’s resources and increases pollution, the reality is that the world in some small way would have been better off if I had died, which quite frankly isn’t a great thing to realise.

Some people may say “cheer up, things could be worse” which always pisses me off. How is thinking things could be worse meant to cheer me up? Firstly it makes me feel guilty about the privileged position I have as someone in the developed world, and secondly it makes me feel terrible thinking that things may end up getting worse for me.

Well enough of my depressing ranting.

In Polish poetry, with it’s Slavic melancholy, I find a reflection of my own feelings, as well as a measure of comfort. The three poems below are examples.

DEDICATION

You whom I could not save
Listen to me.
Try to understand this simple speech as I would be ashamed of another
I swear, there is no wizadry of words.
I speak to you with silence like a cloud or a tree

What strengthened me, for you was lethal.
You mixed up farewell to an epoch with the beginning of a new one,
Inspiration of hatred with lyrical beauty,
Blind force with accomplished shape.

Here is the valley of shallow Polish rivers. And an immense bridge
Going into white fog. Here is a broken city,
And the wind throws scream of gulls on your grave
When I am talking with you.

What is poetry which does not save
Nations or people?
A connivance with official lies,
A song of drunkards whose throats will be cut in a moment,
Readings for sophomore girls.
That I wanted good poetry without knowing it,
That I discovered, late, its salutary aim,
In this ad only this I find salvation.

They used to poor on graves millet or poppy seeds
To feed the dead who would come disguised as birds.
I put this book here for you, who once lived
So that you should visit us no more.

By Czeslaw Milosz

FREEDOM

What is freedom? Ask the philosophers.
I, too, wonder; at one time I maintain
That it means guaranteed liberty
In the face of the power of the state, or else
I emphasise that it is the strength of convictions,
The sovereignty of spirit
And the loyalty to one’s own conviction.
But even when I am at a loss to define
The essence of freedom
I know full well the meaning
Of captivity.

By Adam Zagajewski

MY LONELINESS

My loneliness finished Valedictorians School.
It’s punctual and hardworking.
It’s been given orders and awards.

My loneliness
Is peopled.
Several Thousand readers walk across it.
It’s been written down.
Crossed out.

It’s tired of ruling
Like Frederick the Great.

It’s starting to have it’s disciples.
Its timid slaves.

My loneliness is public.
It lies at the bottom of the cage
With its silent flight feathers
Plucked out.

By Ewa Lipska

2005-08-22T16:31:00.000+10:00

FROM THE LIVES OF THINGS

The perfect skin of things is stretched across them
as snugly as a circus tent,
Evening nears,
Welcome, darkness.
Farewell, daylight.
We're like eyelids, assert things,
we tough eyes, hair, darkness,
light, India, Europe.

Suddenly I find myself asking: "Things
do you know suffering?
Have you cried? Do you know fear,
shame? Have you learned jealousy, envy,
small sins, not of commission,
but not cured by absolution either?
Have you loved, and dies,
at night, wind opening the windows, absorbing the cool heart? Have you tasted
age, time, bereavement?"
Silence.
On the wall, the needle of a barometer dances.

Adam Zagajewski

2005-08-17T11:32:00.000+10:00

FREEDOM OF SPEECH

Some of you may be aware of the comments recently of Macquarie University Law Professor Andrew Fraser on Africans. After seeing a picture of some Sudanese people in a newspaper Andrew wrote in and claimed that by allowing Africans into Australia there will be an increase in crime, because Africans have a genetic propensity to crime, or some such nonsense. He also said that studies have shown that sub-Saharan Africans have significantly lower IQs than Caucasians, and that Asian immigration into Australia should be stopped or we risked being ruled by an Asian elite. Now I have to say that I am always proud when a legal academic from the university I received my law degree from makes such public statements. (Note: I am not being serious about being proud)

These comments have raised some serious discussion amongst some of the groups I am a member of. The issue of freedom of speech is a vexed one. However the main discussion is around whether free speech should be restricted to stop comments like Andrew Fraser’s or whether freedom of speech should be absolute and as such he should be allowed to say what he wants, no matter how abhorrent what he says is.

My feelings on the matter; I disagree that freedom of speech should be absolute, but still defend Andrew Fraser's right to make his comments, even though they are wrong and I find them appalling to say the least.

There is the need to restrict free speech generally when that free speech advocates violence against others. In the case of Andrew Fraser's comments, though undeniably racist and repugnant, they do not advocate violence against those groups he attacks. This is why comparisons to Hitler are inaccurate; he did advocate violence against those groups he attacked. Yes some people will use his comments as an excuse to violently attack some groups based on their race. However some people could also use the comments of refugee rights activists about the Liberals as an excuse to violently attack Liberal party members and voters. Should these people be held responsible for this or have their right to say what they want taken away?

Remember, suppressing people's right to make racist comments won't actually eliminate racism. In Marxist countries like the USSR, Yugoslavia and China racism was "officially eliminated" and public racist comments were forbidden. Was racism eliminated in these states? The ethnic conflicts in the former USSR and Yugoslavia, and the continuing mistreatment of the Tibetans in China indicate that it wasn't.

In Australia, people held racist views on Aboriginals before Pauline Hanson made her racist comments on them public. Suppressing her views would not have eliminated racism to Aborigines. There were in fact benefits to her making her comments public; it allowed forums for people to publicly refute certain myths and stereotypes of Aborigines. There were also people who I knew who wouldn’t consider themselves racist yet who held some unenlightened views about Aborigines. When Pauline Hanson and her views were made public they quickly woke up to themselves because they didn’t want to be associated with someone who was such an ignorant bigot.

I think the focus of people should be on attacking Andrew Fraser's claims. For example his statement that sub-Saharan African's have lower IQs. There is much criticism of IQ tests on the grounds that it is very culturally specific to the Western world, and as such is not an appropriate way of measuring a person's intelligence. If there is any appropriate way of measuring a person's intelligence, which I doubt; to me some of the stupidest people I have ever met were people I studied law with at Macquarie Uni, even though most indicators would tend to suggest that they were "intelligent".

2005-08-16T11:13:00.000+10:00

QUOTE

" I lose hope when the desire for life awakens within me; but I regain it whenever the longing for death comes upon me."

Gustaw Herling - Grudzinski

2005-08-11T17:52:00.000+10:00

THE HUMAN RACE

Given the week that has been, I was going to do a post on the things I hate about people. After thinking about it a while I realised that there is no point in this when what I hate could be summed up in 5 words:

THE WHOLE FUCKING HUMAN RACE.

The stupidity, the greed, the superficiality, the basenes. Jean-Paul Satre was right: Hell is other people.

Do I live in hope of a change for the better? Gustaw Herling-Grudzinski sums things up nicely:

"When It comes down to it, what is hope? Impotent rebellion against despair. Whoever says that one cannot live without hope is simply asserting that one cannot live without constant rebellion."

I hope when I go to sleep tonight I never wake up. Either that or the planet earth ceases to exist.

2005-08-05T13:21:00.000+10:00

I’ve been Tagged: My top ten turn on and turn offs

Well, CapeMan has tagged me. I have to list my top ten turn-one and turn offs. Are they meant to be about what you find attractive in the gender you are sexually attracted to? Or are they meant to be general? Well, as a man (or at least a close approximation of one) everything I suppose is related to sex, so here we go.

Top Ten Turn-ons

1. Politically left-wing (obviously) – particularly a Greens supporter or member
2. Politically active and passionate about politics – there is no use being left wing if you are not politically active and passionate about it.
3. Big eyes, particularly if they are blue or green - to look into when talking, preferably when talking about politics, movies, books etc.
4. Loves Punk and hardcore music - nothing like a bit of political punk/hardcore to get you worked up and make you want to smash the state.
5. Movie Buff – and not your typical blockbuster. If you like going to see the movies that are on at Hoyts or Greater Union, then you are not for me. I mean intelligent, thought provoking films we can discuss and debate for hours afterwards.
6. Significantly taller or shorter than me – I don’t know why, I just do.
7. Watches the Simpsons – Homer Jay Simpson said: "Ah beer, my one weakness. My Achilles' heel, if you will." Well The Simpsons is my beer.
8. Likes to read, particularly literature and poetry – to me there is little difference between someone who can’t read and someone who doesn’t read. And when I say literature I don’t mean Tom Clancy, Sidney Sheldon and crap like that.
9. Does a job because they are passionate about it, not because of what it pays – You spend too much time at work not work on something you are passionate about.
10. Wants Children, but only two – I love kids but we shouldn’t add to the world’s overpopulation problem. That’s why couples should only replace themselves and have two children.
11. Freckles on the nose – I know, it’s only supposed to be ten, but melbournegirl and cape man had eleven, so I want eleven too (throws a childish tantrum). Again I don’t know why I find this attractive, I just do.

Top Ten Turn-offs

1. Isn’t politically left-wing (also obviously)
2. Smokes – Smoking is the biggest con-job of multinationals; you pay them for the privilege of them killing you and those around you and making you and your breathe stink
3. Watches lifestyle shows and reality television – lifestyle shows are designed to make you buy more crap you don’t need, and reality television is so banal and insipid and brings out the most base elements in people.
4. Racist – obvious given my first turn-on.
5. Dyed Blonde Hair – Why would you do this? If you think that this will help you attract men, then you are obviously not looking for a man like me.
6. Chooses jobs based on what they pay – way too materialistic for me.
7. Loves shopping – again too materialistic for me.
8. Starves themselves to be thin – If we were meant to be really skinny, sweet and fatty things wouldn’t taste so good.
9. Reads Women’s magazines like New Idea, Woman’s day etc. – point 8 in my turn-one is subject to the following; reading "women’s" magazines is worse than not reading at all.
10. Drinks wine, but not beer – way too bourgeois.

So the next question is who do I tag?

Well given my politics, I have to tag two fellow comrades on the road left;
Mr Watermelon himself, and the
Woman who speaks her mind; now go forth comrades and spread your leftist turn-ons and turn-offs.

2005-08-03T10:37:00.000+10:00

PATHETIC POST

Why is it that seeing somebody who you used to go out with and had strong feelings for, but who decided to end things, stirs up such strong feelings in you, months, or even years down the track.

What feelings?

Anger at how they made you feel.

Hatred for ending things and making you feel so shit.

Sadness because you realise you still do have feelings for that person, but you know they aren’t reciprocated.

But mostly self-loathing. Self-loathing because you know that this person is an intelligent, warm, decent human being. That is why you enjoyed more than anything else looking into their eyes and talking to them, and why their smile made you forget everything else that was going on n the world. Yet this intelligent, warm, decent person did not feel for you what you felt for them, and as such you cannot help but question your self-worth. And the only conclusion you can come to is that there must be something seriously wrong with you, and as a result you loathe yourself.

I watched Krzysztof Kieslowski’s Bez Konca (No End) again on the weekend. What the movie says (at least my interpretation of it) is that one should be willing to compromise one’s political beliefs, but should not compromise on love. That one should not be willing to die for one’s political beliefs, but should be willing to die for love. As a highly political person, I am often sceptical of such a view of things. But there are days, like today, where I think there may be a semblance of truth in what Krzysztof Kieslowski was saying.

Thankfully I have tomorrow afternoon off from work and I am going to see my little nephew. He always has the ability to cheer me up.

2005-08-02T16:05:00.000+10:00

INDIFFERENCE, ANGER AND HATRED

Recently I read Albert Camus’ The Outsider. I have to say that I am not a big fan of existentialism, but the book did raise some interesting questions and was much better than The Myth of Sisyphus. I particularly found the last few lines interesting:

"I looked up at the mass of signs and stars in the night sky and laid myself open for the first time to the benign indifference of the world. And finding it so much like myself, in fact so fraternal, I realised that I’d been happy, and that I was still happy. For the final consummation and for me to feel less lonely, my last wish was that there should be a crowd of spectators at my execution and that they should greet me with cries of hatred."

Now one thing I am not is indifferent; I am constantly angry with the suffering in the world that could so easily be averted, and as such am rarely what one would call happy.

However I do believe that for the most part the world and many people in it are indifferent to the suffering around them. And this makes me even angrier, and as a result I often feel the need to confront people with what I see as their indifference; family, friends, complete strangers. Most people (understandably) don’t take too kindly to this.

However even at times when I am more reasoned with people (being an extremely emotional person this doesn’t happen as often as it should) I rarely (though not always) see a change in people’s view of the suffering around them.

That’s why there is this part of me that if I was to be executed would also wish to that there would be a crowds of spectators greeting me with cries of hatred.

Who should this crowd be? People who I have communicated with about the suffering that goes on that they could try and stop, but who haven’t listened.

Why would I want them to be greeting me with hatred? Because I have made them feel guilty about their indifference.

I’m a complex individual folks.

2005-07-29T17:42:00.000+10:00

UNIONS AND THE ALP

Last night I went to the Unions NSW general meting to hear the outgoing ALP NSW Bob Carr give a farewell speech. The content of it was rather predictable, you know, "proud to be a Labor premier", "Thanks for your support", "The Liberals hate Unions" and "the Olympics were a success because of Unions."

Of course Unions NSW didn’t mention the fact that the NSW ALP passed those horrendous changes to OH&S laws that the union movement was vehemently opposed to, though at one time this was implied. There was also no mention that the reason why the Olympic Park site was built to the government’s satisfaction was because the workers were stopped from using one of their most fundamental rights, the right to strike.

I am a Unionist through and through, and I have much respect for John Robertson (Union NSW Secretary), Unions NSW and the ACTU. But sometimes the ALP arse-kissing of the union movement really shits me, and last night was one of those occasions. Boob Carr got a standing ovation from everybody. Well everybody but me. I just sat there with my extreme disillusionment with the ALP.

Some people say the ALP are the lesser evil then the Liberals. That is true. However Stalin was the lesser evil than Hitler, but that didn’t make him a nice guy did it? Besides there is a more positive alternative: The Greens.

2005-07-27T16:25:00.000+10:00

PROPOSED IR CHANGES DON’T GO FAR ENOUGH

As Australians are aware (or should be aware) the Federal Government is looking to change our Industrial Relation laws to allow "greater personal choice" and help "create jobs". One of the proposals is to eliminate unfair dismissal for people who work for employers that employ less than 100 people. However even this doesn’t go far enough for our treasurer Peter Costello. He wants to scrap unfair dismissal laws for everybody.

Now initially I was opposed to these changes, but Peter Costello has made me seen the light. We need to get rid of unfair dismissal laws to help create jobs and implement the government’s other proposals to allow greater persona choice.

But why stop there. I have some other suggestions as to changes the government should implement to "create employment" and allow "greater personal choice".

Firstly get rid of occupational health and safety laws. These uniform, bureaucratic impositions on business are a significant cost that stops employers from hiring people because of the cost of "providing a safe workplace", at least as it is defined by bureaucrats. Getting rid of OH & S laws would great more jobs by lessening costs on business. Besides, if the history of the industrial revolution has taught as anything it has been that employers can be trusted to provide safe workplaces. I mean, if we can trust employers not to fire people on the basis of the family responsibilities or because they are pregnant when we get rid of unfair dismissal laws then surely we can trust them to provide a safe workplace without legislation? And even if a couple more people die in the workplace each year, the benefits of higher employment for the community will outweigh this.

Secondly, get rid of child labour laws. Children should have the right to personally choose if they want to work at the age of 5, or at least their parents should have the choice of sending them to work. Plus, because the cost of living for a child is less than that for an adult, employers can pay them less, thereby meaning that there will be even more money employers have available for more jobs. And if children are working instead of going to school, then the government wouldn’t have to spend as much money on education. As a result the government could give poor hard working high income earners a tax cut, which could be invested in business and create even more jobs.

Thirdly, while we are on the issue of tax, we need to change the current tax system. Currently the more you earn, the higher you get taxed. This discourages people from working hard and encourages them to be lazy. If the tax rates were reversed so that the lower your income, the higher your tax rates, this would encourage people to work harder and earn more money, instead of our current system which discourages hard work. The only people who would suffer from such a system is the lazy.

Fourthly, we should allow people the personal choice of selling themselves into indentured servitude. This is about personal choice; two equal parties, an employer and an employee negotiating the terms of employment, like in AWAs. If someone during their negotiations with their employer, with whom they are on an equal bargaining position, decides they want to sell themselves into indentured servitude, who are we to say they can’t do this? Sure some people say this is tantamount to slavery, but really, was slavery really all that bad anyway? I mean the entire Western capitalist economy was built on it.

Now sure, should these changes attempt to be introduced, some people may be opposed to it. A small percentage of these people may get up in arms about it and actually try to stop it. But this will only be a small minority. The majority of people opposed to these changes, so long as Big Brother and Australian Idle are on TV, or they can go shopping to buy useless crap they don’t need, will only whinge about the changes, but not do anything about them. That’s the beauty of living in a consumerist society.

2005-07-25T17:44:00.000+10:00

RACE HATE CRIMES

Recently there has been a disturbing trend of race hate crimes committed against people who don't belong to the dominant racial group in society. However these crimes have not been committed by vigilante groups, but by the government in the name of "protecting" the people of that country. What do I mean?

* The imprisonment of Australian resident Cornelia Rau in Australia by the government for the "crime" of being able to speak a language other than English.

* The illegal deportation of Australian citizen Vivian Alvarez Solon by the Australian Government for the "crime" of not being white.

* Most recently the shooting of a Brazilian man Jean Charles de Menezes by the British police for the "crime" of not being white enough and being a foreigner.

Remember these "foreigners" are a threat to the nice respectable predominantly Anglo-Celtic culture and society. Just like Jews were a threat to German culture and society in the 1930s.

Oh, and I don't know about you, but I think Australia and the UK are perfectly justified in participating in the invasion of another country in part because of the way they treat their minorities. There is absolutely nothing hypocritical about this.

2005-07-22T11:20:00.000+10:00

THE BIG QUESTION

As I have mentioned previously, I am an atheist. Because of, or despite this (depending on your point of view), something I constantly ponder is the meaning of life: Why do we exist and what are we supposed to do with our existence?

I know, but as my profile says, I have too much time on my hands, a lot of which is due to the fact that I am an insomniac.

As an atheist, I don’t believe the meaning of life is to ensure a better after/next life. In some ways I envy the religious for the simplicity of this, because I really do have trouble exactly what the meaning of life is, and as such what one should do with their life. I have however worked out some of what are not the goals of human existence. These are:

* The goal in life is NOT to earn the most money possible

* It is also not to own the biggest house, yacht, car or own the most material possessions.

* To be the most famous person in the world is also not the goal of life.

* Fucking the most people possible I am sure is not the reason we exist on this planet

* Similarly getting drunk, stoned, coked off your face etc. as often as possible is not our reason for being.

* Sitting around doing nothing I am certain is also not why we exist for.

This is all I have come up with in my many hours and days of pondering existence. Does anybody else have any idea of what things we do not exist on this planet for, or, heaven forbid (pun intended) what we DO exist for?

2005-07-21T12:54:00.000+10:00

WHY THE TV SHOW BIG BROTHER IS EVIL

As I indicated in my last post, I hate Big Brother. No wait hate isn’t strong enough. I despise it more than any other television program ever produced. Why you may ask?

Currently I’m reading a book called Bear V Shark by Chris Bachelder, a satire based on people’s need for a competitive spectacle, no matter how moronic it is (like Big Brother). In the book the spectacle is a fight between a bear and a shark. The family who the book revolves around wins tickets to see the fight live because of an essay their son wrote on it. The essay says:

"In today’s society there is a lot of bad news. Just for an example of this is tornadoes, assassinations, tainted food and killer bees. Other examples are pollution, bad roads, heroin, teen pregnancy and rabies. Most problems aren’t anyone’s fault, most of them (like killer bees) are natural and can’t be controlled by human destiny.

It can be difficult to be happy with all this bad news around. For instance, people are grumpy and many of them commit suicide. Men tend to choose guns and women choose pills. I say choose life!

Bear V. Shark allows people to forget about their own problems and the troubles in the world and just be happy. Bear v. Shark gives people a reason to be excited about their day. Instead of sad about gang violence or a collapsing infrastructure people can be upbeat because they are happy. Their minds are on something else. Say, which side are you on? Are you for the bear of the shark? And what about those fins anyway?

In closing, my gardener is Dutch and he doesn’t have a culture. But America is great because it has a culture and Bear v. Shark helps us have a culture."

This sums up the role of Big Brother.

The reality is that the problems we, the broader world, face are man made (even killer bees, they were introduced into South America by people) and can be fixed. But this would cost money, money which government and business doesn’t want to spend. As a result people should be angry.

So what does government and business do? They create crap like Big Brother to keep people occupied so that their minds are focused on the competitive spectacle of Big Brother. Their anger is focused on who they don’t want to win on the show.

This is instead of thinking about the world’s problems and being angry with the government and business, and demanding they do something about it. Big Brother is a form of brainwashing. It even has commercial breaks where the companies you should be angry at try to sell you even more crap you don’t need that will just fuck the world up even more.

And it promotes greed: what are the contestants playing for, one million dollars. And the winner gets it not for doing something that is of some benefit (no matter how small) to society. No they get it based on the popularity of the personality assigned to them by the production company. Because you see, Big Brother isn’t "reality" television, it is in fact scripted, another part of the brainwashing.

Sadly shit like Big Brother has become the dominant "culture" for the majority of people in the Western world, when the reality is it should be reviled for the brain-washing crap that it is.

That is why I despise Big Brother; because it helps maintain the world’s current injustices.

Oh, by the way, I am a bear man.

2005-07-19T18:55:00.000+10:00

WITHHOLD MY OPINION - NEVER!

While stuck at home on Friday, because my boss made me stay home because I was sick, I was reading Volume 15 of The Onion Ad Nauseam. The Onion is a satirical newspaper, on which Australia's The Chaser was based.

In volume 15 there is an article entitled 95 Per cent of Opinions withheld on Visit to Family. The article says:

A full 95% of the opinions held by Justin Wilmot, 26, were kept to himself Sunday during a father's day visit with his family.

"No one in my family gets my worldview, so I find it easier just to smile and nod and agree with everything." .....

....Among the Subjects Wilmot declined to weigh in on during the weekend get-together: New tropical sprite, Survivor, the selfishness of childless couples, Iraq, Golf, AM talk back radio, and his brother-in-law's fantastic idea for a calling card side business.

Now as anybody who knows me will tell you, I NEVER withhold my opinion; regardless of whether I am talking with family, friends, or I overhear complete strangers talking on the street. That's just the sort of easy to get along with guy that I am. I respect people's right to their state opinions, and in return they should respect my right to state my opinions.

So what are some of the things that I have an opinion on that I have stated to people recently when they have been discussed?

Big Brother: No one with any semblance of intelligence would watch this show. People who watch it should not be allowed to have children and contaminate the Human Race's Gene pool.
People who claim to be left-wing justifying their smoking: you're paying multi-national corporation to kill you, and those around you. There are no health benefits to it (unlike moderate alcohol consumption), and the only reason it "relaxes" you is because you are addicted to the chemicals in it, which your body is craving. You're not left-wing, you are a moron.
The Australian film industry produces shit films: Sure if you like watching mind-numbing, banal, insipid pap like Episode 3, Meet the Fockers or War of the Worlds I can see why you might say this. However if you have the ability to think for yourself instead of letting Hollywood studios and their multi-million dollar advertising budgets think for you, you would realise these films are shit, while films like The Finished People, Letters to Ali, Somersault and Peaches are infinitely better then those crap Hollywood films.
The government's "concessions" to refugees: The DIMIA minister now has the discretion to release detainees. In fact the DIMIA minister has had this discretion all along and you didnlt know it, essentially because you believe the government's propaganda.
The IR changes will create jobs: And the proof of this is where, other than up your arse you fascist fuck?
The ALP is still a progressive left wing party: yes, and John Howard is a small L liberal, and Santa Claus delivers presents on Christmas Eve. Actually the last one may still be true. Non-union enterprise agreements, introducing mandatory detention, eliminating a centralised wage fixing system , deregulating the banks etc. These aren't the actions of a left wing or even centrist party, these are the actions of a hard line right wing party.

Well, I feel a lot better. However if anybody reads this I am sure it will piss off even more people than I already have. So be it. The truth can often alienate.

2005-07-13T16:45:00.000+10:00

HOWARD LETS THE CAT OUT OF THE BAG

The proposed IR setbacks (I refuse to call them reforms, as to reform something means to make it better, and these changes do no such thing) have been in the news a lot lately in Australia. The government has recently criticised the ACTU for "scare-mongering" over their claims that the proposed changes will reduce wages, stability and safety in the workplace. The government claims their reforms will do no such things, but, wait for this, increase wages.

However at his IR speech to the Sydney Institute on Monday John Adolf, sorry I mean Winston, Howard let the cat out of the bag. He said:

"In a global economy that increasingly values specialisation and flexibility, perseverance with workplace reform is essential if we are to narrow this productivity gap further and respond to challenges such as the rise of China and India as great economic powers."

Why are China and India "more productive"? Well, more productive isn't what he really means. What he really what means is they can produce things much cheaper than Australia. Why? Because of the ridiculously low wages they pay and the lack of costs associated with providing a safe workplace. So how will the government's proposed changes make us more competitive with India and China? Simple, by reducing wages and safety in the workplace.

Be under no illusions people, these changes are designed first and foremost to reduce people's wages and workplace safety.

2005-07-12T09:27:00.000+10:00

"TERRORISM"

We should have no doubts that the actions of those who committed the bombings in London were the actions of criminal murderers.

At the same time we mus remember that the action so of the US, UK, Australian and other countries military in Iraq "fighting for freedom" were also the actions of criminal murderers.

The historian Norman Davies sums it up best:

"The distinction between terrorists and freedom fighters has nothing to do with the nature of their activities and everything to do with the viewpoint of their enemies or admirers."

2005-07-11T12:01:00.000+10:00

THE JOYS OF A CATHOLIC EDUCATION

Getting together with some old school friends recently made me reminisce about my education, MY 13 YEARS OF CATHOLIC SCHOOL EDUCATION.

Now I know that my mother had my best intentions at heart by sending me to a Catholic school, and up until the age of 16 I was a very devout Catholic.

However at the age of 16 (call it teenage rebellion if you will) I started to question certain tenants of my then religious faith. So much so that I managed to change my mild mannered religion teacher into an angry vitriolic demagogue when I stated that religion was about maintaining the socio-economic status-quo; keeping the rich rich, and the poor poor. Doing a Marxist analysis of a poem had a similar affect on my English teacher.

Now it would be very easy (and probably accurate) to blame my many problems on my Catholic education. However, my Catholic education has in fact had a major impact on who I am, and what I do, for better or worse. How? Well that is what I will now tell.

1. It made me reject the spiritual aspects of Christianity/Catholicism: I consider myself to be a devout Atheist.

2. However the social aspects of Catholicism are what shape my life. You know the commitment to the equality of all people, and the right of all people to a dignified and peaceful existence. It has influenced my politics, my occupation and my activism.

3. There is a part of me that still views sex as being forbidden and wrong

4. However that doesn't stop me on those rare occasions when I am in church (for weddings, baptisms etc.) wondering what some of the female parishioners would be like in bed, and whether if I was screwing them, they would be blasphemous and scream "Oh God" or "Jesus Christ."

5. When I get together with my old school friends, all our jokes have homo-erotic overtones (it was an all boys Catholic School)

6. It has taught me how hypocritical many people can be; some Catholics/Christians claim that homosexuality is an abomination because this is what the Bible says. However they don't think that eating shellfish (lobsters, crabs etc.) is an abomination, even though the Bible actually says this more definitively.

7. It made me realise that the New Testament is right up there with the Protocols of the Elders of Zion and The Merchant of Venice for it's viral anti-Semitism.

8. It taught me never to trust women. Think about it, Eve, Delilah, Lot's wife and so on.

9. It made me realise that even intelligent and decent people can be brainwashed with the right PR and saturation advertising.

10. That religion is about maintaining the socio-economic status quo; keeping the rich rich and the poor poor. That's why all the major religions have wealthy supporters whose wealth is in opposition to their religion, yet religious leaders do not criticise them for this.

2005-07-07T17:54:00.000+10:00

GREAT ARTISTS: KRZYSZTOF KIESLOWSKI

Undoubtedly one of the greatest artists, not just of the 20th century, but of history, is the late great Polish Writer-Director Krzysztof Kieslowski. Part of the reason I personally admire him was his world view. He said:

"I bear a grudge, or am bitter towards the life which surrounded me and will surround me, and which is the way it is, where everything is wretched, where there's no truth, only illusion."

That pretty much sums up my view of the world.

Anyway, most people in the west know him for his films Trois Coulers: Blue, Bialy, Rouge (Three Colours: Blue, White and Red) and La Double Vie de Veronique (The Double Life of Veronique), all of which are modern masterpieces.

However undoubtedly his masterwork was Dekalog (The Decalogue). Produced for Polish television in 1988, the series consists of 10 films of about one hour in length loosely based on the ten commandments. Now while this may sound like some evangelical Christian work, Dekalog focuses on the human relationships and actions, and not on the spiritual aspect of the ten commandments. Unfortunately Dekalogg is not available in Australia, but it can be purchased on DVD in the US and UK. I recommend the UK version as the subtitle translation is better.

Undoubtedly the highlight is Piec Dekalog (Thou Shall not Kill). This was expanded into a feature film Krotki Film O Zabijaniu (A short Film about Killing), which thankfully has recently been released on DVD in Australia. It shows the brutal murder of a taxi driver by a young man, his trial, and then the brutal execution of the young man by the state for his crimes. The movie draws a parallel between the two deaths by showing both deaths in excruciating detail. It's message is simple but powerful: the killing of anybody is a crime, regardless of whether it is done by an individual, a political group or by the state.

The impact of the film was so dramatic in Poland that the government of the day introduced a five-year moratorium on capital punishment as a result. At a time when we are flooded with big the world for the better.

Other great films of this master are Przypadek (Blind Chance), Bez Konca (No End) and Amator (Camera Buff).

Krzysztof Kieslowski. Writer. Director. Visionary. Artist.

2005-07-07T13:56:00.000+10:00

STOP PRESS: PROTEST

For anybody reading this in Sydney (maybe it shuld be anybody reading this full stop? a snap protest is being held when Amanda Vanstone opens the new premises of the Refugee Review Tribunal.

Please bring along banners, placards, and yourself :

Friday, 10.15am at 83 Clarence Street, Sydney. (the opening is advertised for 10.30 so better to be at the front for Amanda. The premises are on the 8th floor.)

They may be opening new premises for the RRT, but there is nothing new about the government's abhorrent refugee policies.

2005-07-07T10:15:00.000+10:00

CONFRONTING RACISM

My dearest readers (if there are any people out there who I haven't pissed off yet and as such are still reading this), how many of you are exposed to racism? Now when I say exposed to it, I don't actually mean you are the victim of it, but see racism being perpetrated upon others? If so, what do you do about it? Anything?

Last night on the train ride home I was confronted with a racist. Now I am not the sort of person who just lets things go. It's why I will often get into arguments, shoving matches and sometimes fights.

The train was packed, as is often the case, there were a lot of people of East or South-East Asian backgrounds, a couple of whom were young children who were crying and whingeing, as all children do. However a redneck got on the train, and proceeded to start yelling "Shut up and go back to China." Now initially the train was so packed I couldn’t see who this was. However after a few people got off, the individual in question moved past me and continued to say "Shut the Fuck up and go back to China." He also muttered under his breath "I should kick them in the c*nt."

At this point I stepped in and said to him, "Why don't you shut the fuck up you piece of redneck, convict scum." Now, my comment may also be viewed as being racist, but I said it for a reason. I do not believe that all people of Anglo-Celtic background are convicts or scum. The reason I said this was that people like him have likely never been racially vilified. As such they do not know what this feels like. By racially vilifying him, hopefully he will know what his actions makes others feel like, and as such not do it any more. Naive? Maybe.

He replied "What did you say?"

I repeated,"Why don't you shut the fuck up you piece of redneck, convict scum."

As he had moved past me, being the tough guy that he was he said, "Why don't you come here and say it." Now people, when somebody says that, they do not actually wish to fight. Similarly when someone pushes you, they are not really looking for a fist fight. When people come to and start punching, then they are looking for a fight. Trust me, I know.

So I went right up to him, looked him in the eyes and repeated, "Why don't you shut the fuck up you piece of redneck, convict scum."

His response "You're such a tough guy."

To which I responded "I'm not the one abusing women and children and threatening to assault them under my breath, you low life."

Some further pleasantries were exchanged where it turns out he had actually been in prison (a sixth sense on my part?), and he was proud of this. I was tempted to make a joke about him dropping the soap in the shower a few too many times, but I refrained. Suffice to say he let me know what he thought of me again, and I let him know what I thought of him, before I moved off.

So what did my actions achieve, if anything?

1. He did not make any more racist comments on the train after I challenged him. This in itself is reason enough for doing what I did.

2. He will think likely think twice about making such comments again on the train for fear of somebody challenging him on it and showing what a coward he is.

3. Maybe, just maybe, as mentioned above, after I turned the tables on him he may reconsider his position, unlikely as it may be.

The reason for mentioning this? We all have a duty to challenge racism. There is a slippery slope out there: if you allow racist comments in public this can lead to racist law and policy, that can lead to racist violence and murder. Please remember this people. When confronted with racism, don’t sit there quietly, challenge it.

2005-07-05T19:44:00.000+10:00

MYTHS ABOUT ASYLUM SEEKERS DEBUNKED

For those of you who are lucky/unlucky enough to be living in Australia, I have no doubt that you are aware of how our lovely government and opposition detain asylum seekers and refugees in conditions that even a convicted murderer are not subjected to. Of course the conditions are better then what you would face as an Australian national should the US government decide to lock you up in Guantanamo Bay, but that's a different story.

Now when people defend this abhorrent policy of our government, they often espouse certain neo-fascist myths to support there position. I will attempt to debunk some of these myths.

1.They are illegals!

Well actually no, under a number of treaties relating to refugees that Australia has signed and incorporated into Australian law, including the 1951 Convention Relating to the Status of Refugees (COR) and the 1967 amendment the Protocol Relating to Refugees, asylum seekers are legally allowed to seek refuge in signatory countries. Such as Australia. Thus they are not illegals; all they are doing is asking Australia to actually adhere to international law, international law that Australia has incorporated into it's law.

2. They are queue jumpers!

I know you shouldn't answer a question with a question, but What Queue? In many of the places these people are coming from there is no readily available Australian Embassy to apply for asylum, or their access to the embassy is restricted. Even when they can get to an Australian embassy, this embassy may be monitored by their government and visiting it can put their life at risk. However most importantly, even if they can visit the Australian Embassy, there is no guarantee that they will be added to the "queue"; there is no requirement for the embassy or the Australian government to process their claim. They only way they can get the Australian government to process their claim is by coming to Australia and applying for asylum, thus the reason why people do this.

3. They must criminals because they don't have or get rid of their passports!

When you are a person trying to escape your country of origin because you are wanted by the government for political activities, or because you are a member of a persecuted minority, the last thing you would want to carry on you, or be sent back to your country of origin with, is your passport outlining all your personal details so that the oppressive government you are fleeing finds it easier to identify and torture/imprison/kill you. It's common sense. They don't have or get rid of their passports for safety reasons.

4. Who cares if other countries have found some people to be refugees that Australia rejected as refugees. We have different laws!

Again as signatory to certain conventions relating to refugees we are bound by certain definitions of refugees and are bound to provide asylum to people who fit this definition. The fact that people who have had their asylum claims in Australia rejected have subsequently received asylum in countries such as New Zealand and Canada means that Australia is breaching internationally accepted laws relating to refugees.

5. If we let the bastards in they will take our jobs!

This argument relates to all immigrants, not just refugees. Studies show that for every 9 immigrants that come to Australia there are 10 jobs created. So even if the 9 immigrants are all of working age, their is still a net growth of one job. Thus immigrants create jobs, not take them.

That 's all for now. I will debunk other myths on asylum seekers in a future post. However if you are in NSW, please visit the RAC NSW website at www.racnsw.org and become involved . If you live in another Australian state or territory, visit the RAC NSW links page at http://www.racnsw.org/links.php for details on groups where you live

2005-07-04T15:26:00.000+10:00

FAMILY

Often people will say to me I am an angry young man. I vehemently disagree with this. I no longer consider myself young.

However there is one thing, no matter how angry, or sad I may be, that always puts a smile on my face. My six month old nephew. On the weekend I visited my sister, brother-in-law and my little nephew. As corny as it sounds, nothing quiet excites me like the prospect of seeing him. I never get tired or nursing him or kissing him, and when he starts to cry it really tears at my heart. However when I make him smile or goo, there is nothing so adorable in the world.

When I tell this to people, their reaction is either one of disbelief, or a look indicating they wish their family was like that. And I have to say this is a really sad indication of just what a horrible materialistic and uncaring society we have become. Everyone in my family, regardless of age or gender, feels the same way about my little Nephew; there is always a constant tug of war over who will nurse him. I may not always agree with my family, but I love and cherish them more than anything else. Sadly, many people on the left often aren't close to their families which mystifies me: if you can't feel a connection with your own flesh and blood, how can you feel a connection with the greater mass of people?

I also love watching my father with my nephew. My father was never an overly affectionate person. This isn't to say that he doesn't love his family; he does very much. However when your formative years are spent living under Hitler, Stalin, through a civil war, and your mother dies when you are quite young, this will obviously harden you. However like me, he obsolutely adores my nephew, and constantly wants to nurse and kiss him.

Like most people, as a child I had major run ins with my father. However I now realise that, even though I still may not agree with some of what he said and did, he always had my best intention at heart. He suffered through so much as a child, and he wanted to ensure we didn't have to suffer as well.

These days I get along better with my father than any of my brothers and sisters. In fact I am the only person he will take directions off in the car. Much of this comes down to our common love of history and football (soccer to you anglo-celts out there).

So if anybody other than computer programs scanning websites to get email addresses to spam is reading this: cherish you family as they are the people who care most about you.

2005-07-01T17:54:00.000+10:00

Separated at Birth

One of these is a cruel, evil man who shows a total utter disdain for human life. He has total utter contempt for internationally accepted standards of decency and the law. He uses his power and position to exploit people for his own gain resulting in immense suffering and hardship for these people. The other one is a cartoon character. Philip Ruddock and Montgomery Burns; separated at birth?

2005-07-01T10:25:00.000+10:00

THE APOCALYPSE IS UPON US

Yes the day that all progressive, caring, intelligent human beings in Australia have been dreading is upon us. Today is the day Howard and his SS cadre gain control of the senate. The attack on anybody who is not a money-grubbing fascist begins.

So why are we in Australia in this mess? Well obviously because people voted for Howard.

But why did people vote for that evil dip-shit? Most people who know anything about politics would say the issue of interest rates; the government ran a scare campaign stating that if you voted for the ALP interest rates would go up.

So why was this an issue? Because house prices have risen so dramatically.

Why have they risen so dramatically? Well, we have the ALP to blame for this. Two sets of two words; Negative gearing, and Tax cuts.

Negative gearing is a scheme that allows people with "excess cash" (obviously this rules out anybody who works an honest, decent job) to invest in property and offset any losses they may suffer as a result by reducing their taxable income. Or some such evil shit. Now when they were in power the ALP actually got rid of negative gearing for a while. That is until the multi-millionares who pass money under the table to them told them to bring it back . Which they did.

Now when in power the ALP also dramatically cut taxes for high income earners, and also dramatically cut the company tax rate. This meant that the bourgeoisie, wine drinking fascist fucks had more excess cash to throw around and invest. And property seemed like a good option; it gives you a tangible asset, it rarely loses value, it tends to steadily increase in value, and at times it dramatically increases in value.

Thus you had all these yuppie fucks looking to buy property. As a result of this increase in demand, because we live in a market economy, house prices increased, and increased and increased. When the Libs came into power they further cut taxes for high income earners, further exaberbating the problem, so that your average person looking to buy a house needed to borrow hundreds of thousands of dollars from the bank. As a result these people have huge mortagage repayments to make each week/month. Thus if interest rates go up by even a small amount, so does their mortgage repayments. Thus the reason why interest rates were a huge issue.

Sure the ALP could have tried to counter this nonsensical arguement that interest rates under them would increase, but they had more important things to do, like making sure the heathens didn't get votes.

What do you mean, you may be asking. Well what I am refering to is the ALP's forestry policy in Tasmania launched a week before the election. Like most things with the ALP, it was half-arsed, not going far enough to protect the Tasmanian forests. It also would not gain them any votes on a two party preferred basis. People who want to protect the forests will vote green, and in almost all cases give their preferences to the ALP.

So why do it? Well the reality is that the ALP is not a left of centre party; the party is run by the right, and the NSW Catholic right is very powerful in the party. That's not to say that there aren't some decent peple in the ALP; they just don't influence policy.

Now the ALP right, and particularly the NSW Catholic RIght are very socially conservative; they hate gays and are opposed to gay marriages, and want to restrict abortions. As such the Greens are immoral and unchristian to them. They are thus the enemy, and as such they wanted to stop them from getting votes.

That's when they hit upon the idea, "Hey, let's adopt a half-arsed policy that gives the impression we care about saving Tasmania's rainforests, so that environmentalists will vote for us and not those satanic Greens, who if they get enough seats in parliament will try and legalise human sacrifices to satan." Thus the scenes of Mark Latham launching the policy a week before the election.

Except most environmentalists are smart and didn't buy the ALP's nonsense. However the half arsed policy was enough to piss off some people in Tasmania. The result was that people who would traditionally vote for the ALP in Tasmania voted for the Liberals. Thus a senate seat In Tasmania that the ALP should have held, they lost to the Liberals, helping to deliver the coalition a senate majority, and putting the Australian people in the shit they are now in.

The fucking ALP. A bunch of fucking useless rednecks.

2005-06-30T18:15:00.000+10:00

THE WOMAN OF MY DREAMS

There is one woman in Australia who constantly blows me. Constantly blows my mind that is. She is intelligent, feisty, progressive and sexy as hell. She is:

Greens Senator Kerry Nettle

I fantasise tearing down the gates of Baxter with her and freeing the refugees.

I dream of shoving the Voluntary Student Unionism Bill up an orifice of Brendan Nelson so far that none of his doctor mates would be able to remove it.

I visualise throwing John Howard and his IR "reforms" off the scaffolding of a 30 story high CFMEU building site with her.

I imagine her, with me by her side, officiating the first legally recognised gay marriage in Australia.

I contemplate the two of us sentencing George Bush to a lifetime of hard labour for crimes against humanity.

But mostly I dream about Kerry and me reading to our children Bob Brown's Memo for a Saner World.

Sigh.

Why can't there be more woman like her? Because really, when would I ever get the chance to tell her how I feel?

The reality is however there have been numerous occasions where I have been around Kerry, and could of told her how I feel. But like a scared little schoolboy in the presence of a supermodel, I have been left speechless in her presence.

Oh Kerry, will you ever know how I feel?

2005-06-30T10:40:00.000+10:00

Why a Blog?

Why have I decided to start my own blog?

Well firstly the team of psychiatrists who have been helping me deal with my many problems feel that getting things off my chest would be therapeutic.

Secondly there is also the matter of me criticising other people's blog entries; as someone who believes in a free and frank discussion of differing ideas it is only right that I allow others to criticise my blog entries.

Thirdly, hopefully this blog will piss off some right-wing arseholes and some of the latte left.

Now some of you may be thinking, I understand who right wing-arseholes are, and why you would want to piss them off; they are a bunch of money-grubbing, redneck bigots who I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire.

But who are the latte left, you may be thinking, and why do you hate them?

Below I will outline who the latte left are and the reasons why I hate them, their hypocrisy:

1. People who claim to care about the environment, but own a car and drive it to work/uni because it would take them 10 minutes longer to get there by public transport.

2. People who claim to care about the horrendous treatment of refugees in Australia, but aren't active in any of the numerous groups who publicly campaign on the matter.

3. People who claim to support unions, but aren't active in their union, or aren't even a member of their union.

4. People who bitch about how the ALP has sold out but still vote for those treacherous bastards.

5. People who whinge about McDonalds, Hungry Jacks, KFC etc and some of the things they do, yet still buy things from there.

6. People who whine about how bad television has become, but watch mind-numbing reality television like Big Brother and Australian Idol.

7. People who say we need to support Australian culture, but don't go watch Australian Films, Theatre or bands, and instead go watch the latest Adam Sandler film and buy the latest piece of pop or hip-hop crap from the US.

8. People who drink wine.

Now some of you may claim "Look I would like to be more involved in good causes or use public transport, but I don't have the time."

Bullshit.

If you have time to blog or to watch Big Brother, then you have the time to try and make this world a better place.

I await your wrath.