Thursday, December 22, 2005

TIME

I notice that it has been a moth since I last posted; it seems a lot longer than that, and eternity.

I’ve been snowed under with work and coupled with the fact that I haven’t been feeling well (not in a particularly good mental state) means that I haven’t had the time or the compulsion to post. I do however really appreciate those of you that have stopped by and inquired as to how I was.

In terms of the woman, I have spent some time with her, and I am starting to realise through my conversations with her and her actions that she isn’t the person I thought. She is still physically very beautiful, but I‘m not too sure whether she is a beautiful person inside any more, which means her physical beauty is meaningless.

What has happened in the last month? We have seen the barbaric execution of an Australian in Singapore and the piss-weak efforts of our government to stop this. We’ve seen the draconian IR, voluntary student Unionism and anti-"terror" legislation passed by the government. We’ve scene racial violence on mass in Sydney. Isn’t Australia a great fucking place to live?

Recently I have begun re-reading Douglas Coupland’s books again. I discovered him when I was looking at the linear notes for the Ataris song "My Hotel Year", which they said was inspired by his Book "Life After God". I read this, and I was hooked.

Though many of his books have a religious elements to them, which I as an atheist disagree with, I agree with the main assertion of all his literature; That there is something fundamentally wrong with modern Western Capitalist society. It promises so much, yet delivers so little, and what it delivers is so hollow. He essentially says (which I agree with) is that modern Western Capitalist society and it’s push to work longer hours so we can consume more crap we don’t need is destroying people’s humanity and turning them into selfish, uncaring individuals. In many ways he shares similar beliefs to my favourite Western Author, Kurt Vonnegut.

Here are some examples of what Douglas Coupland says in some of his Books.

LIFE AFTER GOD:

" Sometimes I want to go to sleep and merge with the foggy world of dreams and not return to this, our real world. Sometimes I look back on my life and I am surprised at the lack of kind things I have done. Sometimes I just feel that there must be another road that can be walked – away from this person I became – either against my will or by default."

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I question the person I have become and wonder whether it is/was possible to become somebody else.


MICROSERFS:

"It starts out young – you try not to be different just to survive – you try to be just like everyone else – anonymity becomes reflexive – and then one day you wake up and you’ve become all those other people – the others – the something you aren’t. And you wonder if you can ever be what it is you really are. Or you wonder if it’s too late to find out."

Don’t we all do our best, at least at some point in our lives, to "fit" into this fucked up society; to not be different, to be one of the crowd?


GIRLFRIEND IN A COMA:

"Nobody knew we had a second of free time remaining. All of it was frittered away on being productive, advancing our careers and being all-round productive. Each new advance made by "progress" created it’s own accelerating warping effect that made your lives here on earth feel even smaller and shorter and more crazed."

"I said we gave no evidence of an interior life. Acts of kindness, evidence of contemplation, devotion, sacrifice. All these things that indicate a world inside us"

Isn’t it true? We spend so much time worrying about our jobs and how much money we earn, and not enough time worrying about the sort of person we are?


GENERATION X:

"Now Denial: To tell oneself that the only time worth living in is the past and that the only time that may ever be interesting again is the future."

How often do we really appreciate the here and now, instead of reminiscing about how good the past was or how good the future may be.


And lastly, also from GENERATION X:

"I want you to tell me something first; after you’re dead and buried and floating around in whatever place we go to, what’s going to be your best memory of earth?" "What one moment for you defines what it’s like to be alive on this planet. What’s your takeaway?" "I want to hear some small moment from your life that proves you’re really alive?"

And this dear readers, is where you come in. What’s your takeway? What one moment defines for you what it is like to be alive on this planet, that really proves you are really alive?

Let me know by leaving a comment. If you want, you can post something similar so you can find out what the moment is for the readers of your blog.

However I will first tell you mine. It was Christmas Eve last year. My Nephew was 8 days old and asleep in adjoining room, when he started to cry. I picked him up and as soon as I did he stopped crying. For a couple of minutes he struggled to open his eyes and look at me, then he fell asleep in my arms. And that’s where he stayed for the next 2 hours. And I was perfectly content to sit there holding him and looking at him; there was nothing else in the world I would rather have been doing; there was no now denial, because the now was so perfect; the fact that I had been dumped 10 days earlier was forgotten. This was the one moment that defines for me what it is like to be alive on this planet, that really proves I am really alive.

23 Comments:

Blogger GS said...

Welcome back AleKs :)
The humbling experiences of witnessing birth and death have left a strong imprint on me. They are also moments when I have felt deep love.

5:55 pm

 
Blogger David Collett said...

Some of my take aways:

1) When I started standing up for myself. Jimmy Barnes said it "It may be hard, but oh, oh it's the only way. You got to stand your ground and fight to save your life."

2) Getting a name for anxiety and finding ways to work with it, work on it.

3) Sitting and talking with my partner on the couch.

4) Music. Lots of music.

Actually, I like an idea Suki wrote on my blog.

That at the end, it's the end. No heaven, no hell, no ghost David. Just a large David shaped hole in the universe and my atoms and molecules spread through out the universe.

6:34 am

 
Blogger Susanne said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:27 am

 
Blogger Susanne said...

He's back!

The post was worth the wait though.

In response:

-Judging by your blog alone, you seem like a good person, who thinks, has high morals and takes action. You can still change if you want to. I'm sure all of us could be/ could have been different. I think people have free will, but it is easy to just go with the flow too.

-I was thinking about meaningless consumerism yesterday when doing my Christmas shopping yesterday. I don't really want or need more stuff. I think I'd prefer to work less, spend less and spend more time doing stuff I love. (That said, I'm at work as I write this!).

-In terms of feeling alive, lately its been during sex.

8:35 am

 
Blogger Susanne said...

Hehe Deb, I almost didn't post it for the fact that you read this blog. Oh well.

1:22 pm

 
Blogger Justine said...

Aleks, I STILL haven't read any Kurt Vonnegut, but will get around to it shortly. I did read a review recently of his latest offering, and had to laugh at his musing that he might sue the cigarette companies for the fact that he is STILL not dead from cancer. - A ha ha ha!

My takeaway: 27 and still having birthdays. Mustav done something right. Dead things don't feel this depressed, ergo, I must be alive.

9:07 pm

 
Blogger Susanne said...

Hey aleks, just wanted to say I really like your blog. I'd say Merry Christmas but it might be too capitalist for your tastes.

Hope you keep it up in the new year,

Susanne xox

11:10 am

 
Blogger sublime-ation said...

You read?

6:58 pm

 
Blogger Justine said...

My last comment was a bit maudlin, eh?

I think its actually as much of a problem to spend too much time worrying about the kind of person you are.

9:21 am

 
Blogger Melba said...

hi aleks, good to see you back. i loved your takeaway moment. mine are similar. when i gave birth it was amazing and so powerful. i lay awake that night, buzzing on endorphins. i felt like a superwoman, who had joined a club with every other woman who had given birth naturally, without drugs, without incision, right back to cave days and when they would drop them under a tree in the field. it was so primal.

and just before people jump on me for being smug about no caesarian, no inducement, no drugs, i am aware there are different labours and i was just lucky to have a perfect one. yes, there are ideals and i got the ideal birth. it was fucking amazing, like a real rite of passage

9:02 pm

 
Blogger Justine said...

I'm hoping to have an ideal labour some day:
first sign of contractions = pethidine drip and an epidural!

:-)
respect to you, MG.

8:00 am

 
Blogger Justine said...

how are things in marrickville these days champ?
gotten up to any mischief ;-)

11:16 am

 
Blogger Susanne said...

Hi Aleks! *waves*

3:17 pm

 
Blogger Kay Adams said...

I have missed you xx

3:01 pm

 
Blogger GS said...

earth to AleKs...no posts? Had hoped your malady would move through more swiftly :(

2:23 pm

 
Blogger Justine said...

did I say "champ"??

fucking hell.

sorry, *champ*.

11:14 pm

 
Blogger Bonnie Conquest said...

are you really gone?
i miss you.

4:57 am

 
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