MY HOW TIME FLIES!

So, I'm wondering if I have set a world record between blog entries? If not, I'll have to set it with me next one.

So much has happened - very little of it good.

The year started out with some serious depression issues - with medication having little use. Things started spiralling down and little has changed, but back to that later.

One of the high points was doing an interview on Channel 7 just prior to the Easter protests at Villawood - still have it on DVD. At the said protests I was also quoted in almost every online newspaper website in Australia, criticising how unchristian the government's policies were at such a holy time for Christians. I also got arrested at the protests for calling a police officer "fascist scum" - after 4 months, the judge finally dismissed the offensive language charges.

The weeks and months went by as my mental health went from bad to worse. My bi-polar really started giving me major problems. At whcih point a "woman" entered my life who decided she liked the power she had over my life and decided to play with it, regardless of the consequences. Unable to cope I slit my wrist. Thankfully (or unthankfully I often think) I didn't kill myself. I spent 6 weeks in a psychiatric hospital. The news of my sister's second miscarriage in a year didn't help.

Eventually I came out, and slowly started to recover, and for a while there things seemed to pick up. Then two months ago things came crashing down again. The frequent and severe mood swings that are my bi-polar have been getting worse and worse. Of course, things don't help when you get involved with someone who is engaged. She was the one who initiated things (No excuse I know) and who I have really come to care about - only for her now to be starting to distance herself as the guilt sets in, all the while you are hoping that she will break off her engagement to be with you, even though you know she won't. I mean, when you don't even like yourself, and single women won't go out with you for any period of time, why would someone break off their engagement for you?

So, here I am. Life becoming so unbearable again, that death seems like a release - an incident with sleeping tablets last week reflecting this. Sorry for those peple out there who had been regular readers, people who had given me support online for not posting - I just wasn't up to it. I'm sure most, if not all of you have forgotten me by now. I decided to post in case any of you hadn't. Take care.

Oh, in one of those strange coincidences, most of my the people who used to regularly read my blog reside in Melbourne. I'm coming down there on Thursday to spend some time with a friend - we are acting as support mechanisms for one another. However she is working Sunday during the day, so if anyone wants to meet and say hi (you know to see how bad things could be) then or some other time let me know and I will put my email address in your blog