THE WOMAN OF MY DREAMS

There is one woman in Australia who constantly blows me. Constantly blows my mind that is. She is intelligent, feisty, progressive and sexy as hell. She is:

Greens Senator Kerry Nettle

I fantasise tearing down the gates of Baxter with her and freeing the refugees.

I dream of shoving the Voluntary Student Unionism Bill up an orifice of Brendan Nelson so far that none of his doctor mates would be able to remove it.

I visualise throwing John Howard and his IR "reforms" off the scaffolding of a 30 story high CFMEU building site with her.

I imagine her, with me by her side, officiating the first legally recognised gay marriage in Australia.

I contemplate the two of us sentencing George Bush to a lifetime of hard labour for crimes against humanity.

But mostly I dream about Kerry and me reading to our children Bob Brown's Memo for a Saner World.

Sigh.

Why can't there be more woman like her? Because really, when would I ever get the chance to tell her how I feel?

The reality is however there have been numerous occasions where I have been around Kerry, and could of told her how I feel. But like a scared little schoolboy in the presence of a supermodel, I have been left speechless in her presence.

Oh Kerry, will you ever know how I feel?

Why a Blog?


Why have I decided to start my own blog?

Well firstly the team of psychiatrists who have been helping me deal with my many problems feel that getting things off my chest would be therapeutic.

Secondly there is also the matter of me criticising other people's blog entries; as someone who believes in a free and frank discussion of differing ideas it is only right that I allow others to criticise my blog entries.

Thirdly, hopefully this blog will piss off some right-wing arseholes and some of the latte left.

Now some of you may be thinking, I understand who right wing-arseholes are, and why you would want to piss them off; they are a bunch of money-grubbing, redneck bigots who I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire.

But who are the latte left, you may be thinking, and why do you hate them?

Below I will outline who the latte left are and the reasons why I hate them, their hypocrisy:

1. People who claim to care about the environment, but own a car and drive it to work/uni because it would take them 10 minutes longer to get there by public transport.

2. People who claim to care about the horrendous treatment of refugees in Australia, but aren't active in any of the numerous groups who publicly campaign on the matter.

3. People who claim to support unions, but aren't active in their union, or aren't even a member of their union.

4. People who bitch about how the ALP has sold out but still vote for those treacherous bastards.

5. People who whinge about McDonalds, Hungry Jacks, KFC etc and some of the things they do, yet still buy things from there.

6. People who whine about how bad television has become, but watch mind-numbing reality television like Big Brother and Australian Idol.

7. People who say we need to support Australian culture, but don't go watch Australian Films, Theatre or bands, and instead go watch the latest Adam Sandler film and buy the latest piece of pop or hip-hop crap from the US.

8. People who drink wine.

Now some of you may claim "Look I would like to be more involved in good causes or use public transport, but I don't have the time."

Bullshit.

If you have time to blog or to watch Big Brother, then you have the time to try and make this world a better place.

I await your wrath.