WHERE TO FROM HERE?

I’m sure that you have all been faced with the situation where you have built up somebody so much in your mind, that when you actually see them you can’t help but feel a little disappointed.

Well that’s what happened on Friday night. Upon seeing my date I couldn’t help but feel that "This is the person who has been on my mind constantly for the last week?" However by the end of the night, this feeling had totally evaporated and I was even more captivated by her. It just goes to show that looks aren’t what is important, but a person’s intelligence and personality. That’s not to say that she is "physically" unattractive; I wouldn’t change a thing about the way she looks. It’s just that this is secondary to personality and intelligence.

Due to few different things (mainly women getting ready issues) things started a bit late, and as a result we ended up missing the play we were going to see. However I’m actually really glad this happened, because it meant we spent more time talking. After we had dinner we went and had a few drinks, where we talked, essentially for about 5 straight hours. Only once at the end of the evening was there one of those awkward silences, but this only lasted for about 15 to 20 seconds. I was just really enjoying myself listening to her and looking into her beautiful blue eyes. The more she talked, the more I learnt about her and the more I liked (loved?) her. Eventually it ended, as she was tired (she works 2 jobs and studies part time, so I can totally understand) and had an assignment to do the next day, and I had to get up early for a protest outside Villawood detention centre.

However the end of the night came, and it wasn’t until she was about to get out of the car that I indicated, in a very pissweak way it must be said (you’d think things would get easier as you got older) how much I enjoyed spending time with her and asked if after she would like to actually go see the play we had missed in two weekends time when she had finished her assessments.

Now this is where the problems begin. She said that yes, after she had finished her assessments she would like to "catch up" with me. Now maybe I am I am totally wrong, but "catch up" seems to be something you do with friends, not somebody you are romantically interested in. However she then said to me that after assignments were over and she was less tired and stressed she wouldn’t be as boring and would be more "fun". Now again, this may be wrong, but this seems to be more like something you would say to somebody you may be romantically interested in.

Thus I am at a loss. Three other potentially relevant pieces of information; Firstly she said she cancelled a get together with a friend on Friday to "go out" with me. Secondly after I we missed the play I suggested we go to a movie, but she said she would prefer to go and have a few drinks instead, because she was tired and afraid she would fall asleep in it. Thirdly I SMSd her on Saturday saying how much I enjoyed her company; she SMSd me back saying she also had a good time.

Now analysing the events (I am always told that I over analyse things) there are a number of different possibilities:

1. She thought I had initially asked her out as a friend thing, more than on a date, and thinks that I have also asked her out as a friend again.
2. She thought I had initially asked her out as a friend thing, more than on a date but now realises I asked her out on a date and doesn’t feel that way about me.
3. She thought I had initially asked her out as a friend thing, more than on a date, but now realises I asked her out on a date and isn’t sure how she feels about me.
4. She thought I had initially asked her out as a friend thing, more than on a date, but now realises I asked her out on a date and thinks she may also like me in that way.
5. She knows I asked her out on a date, but now realises she doesn’t feel attracted to me.
6. She knows I asked her out on a date, but still isn’t sure how she feels about me.
7. She knows I asked her out on a date, and is attracted to me.

Now as I said, I really like (love?) this woman. As I see it I have three options:

1. Wait until she finishes her assessments in two weeks time then arrange to go out with her again. This would seem to make the most sense. However these next two weeks will be hell; the last three days alone have dragged on unbearably; I find it difficult to enjoy the taste of chaos concert on Saturday because I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Even worse is if we go out and she tells me she isn’t interested in me in romantic way; to see her and talk to he again would just make this so much more painful, even though it will be painful regardless.

2. Let her know how I feel about her prior to this by sending her roses. This would seem to be the best way of finding out where things stand quickly, and it may even help her to make up her mind if it is undecided, though this could be in either direction; she may find it romantic or she may find it too quick too soon.

3. Get in contact with our common friend to see if she can find out anything. This would involve the least embarrassment to me if she wasn’t attracted to me, though it is also extremely adolescent to do this. It should also be noted that our common friend is in England at the moment, and even when in Australia she is not very reliable.

So that is where I am at. Where to from here? Please people, your thoughts; which is the most likely scenario (I suppose this is more directed to you ladies) in terms of her feelings given the above and which of the above three should I do? I am so conflicted here.

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy

Well, my talk on Saturday went well, and the Refugee conference as whole went well; we were expecting 50 people, thought 100 would be phenomenal, and as such we were pleased with the 80 to 90 people who turned up.

As for the other matter on Saturday, throughout the morning I looked out for the woman who I had met at the Ashfield Carnival of Cultures. I especially hoped she would come to my session so I could show off in front of her, you know, like a teenage boy (I readily admit I still act like a child). However wishing didn’t make it so.

I went out to Lunch, and upon returning I noticed she had turned up. I went up to her we talked a little bit. I followed her to the sessions she went to and sat down next to her, without acting like too much of a stalker. We talked a bit more, and guess what? We seemed to (for want of a better expression) "hit it off". We went to a refugee art collection opening after the conference, talked for a few hours together and seemed to share a fair bit in common. At the end of the night, we shared a cab home, and even before I could ask her out, she offered me her number, then realised I had it, and asked for my number, which I gave to her. We are likely going to see a play this Friday night. Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy.

Things I have learnt about her already that I really like:

1. She is of Slavic Background – A mixture of Eastern and Western Slavic
2. She really cares about the refugee issue in Australia
3. She doesn’t own a car
4. She grew up in the same area as me, a very working class area
5. She now lives in the same area as me, which is very ethnically diverse
6. She is a bit of a movie buff
7. She is doing a Masters Degree in Sociology at my old University
8. One of her old school friends who she still keeps in contact with is an old work friend of mine who I still keep in contact with, and who I really trust and like.
9. She seems very pro-union and pro-workers rights
Oh and
10. She has the most beautiful blue eyes, which are highlighted be her long dark hair.

On the negative side, she does drink wine, but given all of the above, I am ready to not let this be an issue.

To top off a great weekend, I spent a few hours with my ten month old Nephew on Sunday. He gets more adorable every time I see him. He loves it when I lift him up as high as possible and then lower his face right down to my face, but strangely he doesn’t seem to enjoy it when other people do it. He has also started giving people hugs, predominantly my little Nieces, and his Mother and Father, though he did give me two as well; It is such a great feeling.

Why can’t all weekends be like this?

REFUGEES

On Monday night the refugee group I am a member of got word that a man was about to be deported "home" to Bangladesh, even though he had lived in Australia for 13 years. Recently there have been other 300 acts of violence by Islamic fundamentalists in Bangladesh (not that we here about it in the news; hey these people are dark-skinned, there lives aren’t worth as much as a white peoples) who want Sharia law introduced. As someone opposed to this fundamentalism the man did not want go back to such a situation. Our government didn’t care and wanted to deport him.

Thus some of us went out to the airport. We knew we wouldn’t be able to directly stop his deportation as he wouldn’t be going through the main lounge and we weren’t too sure what flight he was on. However we hoped to let people who would be on his flight know about this so that they would protest, refuse to get seated and thus stop the flight from taking off until he was removed from the plane (this had happened before). Thus we went to the departure gate and held up signs, my one saying "Is someone handcuffed and guarded on your flight? Protest and don’t let it take of!".

Surprisingly the federal police and airport security didn’t kick us out like they have previously because we were just standing there silently, though they did monitor us very heavily. When one of our group approached people to talk about it she was warned that is she continued this she would be kicked out. Most people read our signs silently, some made derogatory comments, some made positive comments. From what we understand the man was deported. At times like these I am so ashamed to be Australian and despise the absolute majority of my fellow Australians who vote for parties that support such policies. There is a part of me that almost wishes that there were terrorist (whatever that means) attacks on Australian soil so that people would understand the sort of terror refugees are fleeing from.

This Saturday at UTS in Sydney there is a refugee rights conference on "Where to now for the refugee Movement". As some of our more qualified speakers (people with PHDs) have had to pull out for a number of reasons, I have agreed to be on the "History of Australian response to immigrants and refugees" panel. Even though I know a fair bit about this, I have a bit of reading to do in the next few days so I don’t make an ass of myself. Well so I at least don’t make a major ass of myself. It’s difficult for me not make at least a bit of an ass of myself generally

I’m really hoping that the Slavic girl with the gorgeous eyes I talked to on the issue at the Ashfield Carnival of Cultures turns up. It will brighten up what has been a very depressing week since Monday night.

20 THINGS ABOUT ME

Well I’ve been tagged by
Justine so here are 20 facts about me:

1. I hate my middle name: John. So boring and conservative. I dream about changing it to Krzysztof.

2. After a really heavy, and I mean REALLY heavy, night of drinking I have been taken in an ambulance to hospital and had my stomach pumped.

3. I love Punk/Emo/Hardcore music and despise Dance, Techno, House, R’n’B, Hip Hop, Rap and Heavy Metal.

4. I suffer from severe bi-polar disorder (my posts don’t give it away do they?)

5. I have one big bourgeois extravagance; I am a huge movie buff, and have over 600 DVDs and 200 Videos. However I hate your typical Hollywood Blockbuster; give me European Cinema any day.

6. I have lived one of my dreams; I got to go up to John Howard one day and abuse him.

7. I was raised as a devout Roman Catholic, but I am now a die hard atheist.

8. I don’t have a driver’s license, or obviously, a car. I have made a conscience decision to never own a car; they are so destructive to the environment and people can do without them.

9. Rather than go into the legal profession after I left university I worked as a storeman. Seriously.

10. At the age of 29 nothing makes me more nervous than asking a woman out. I have no problem standing up to give a speech in front of hundreds of people I don’t know on 5 minutes notice (I have done this on a number of occasions) but asking a woman out still scares the living daylights out of me.

11. The love of my life at the moment is my ten month old Nephew: I look forward to seeing, nursing and kissing him more than anything else in the world.

12. I usually read 2 or 3 books a week.

13. I can play the saxophone.

14. Some of my ancestors were members of Genghis Khan’s army that settled in what is modern day Ukraine.

15. The first band I ever saw perform live was Roxette. What the hell was I thinking?

16. I know how to swear in Arabic.

17. In case you don’t know, I love watching the Simpsons. I will never tire of this show.

18. My entire "professional life" (you know those jobs that require a degree, even though you rarely, if ever, use it) has been spent working for Unions.

19. I haven’t had a holiday in 5 years, and in the same time I have only had one sick day.

20. Um, my eyes are a mixture of Blue and Green. When the light is dark they look very green, when the light is bright they look very blue.

So who do I tag. Well firstly, despite her lies, AOF . Hmmm, then how about
woman with a patch fetish
Oh and then the lady with the
Luscious Lips
Lastly there is the
Russian Princess
Oh, why not one more the
Emo Girl

ETHICAL DILEMMA

Sunday was the Ashfield Carnival of Cultures, a celebration of the ethnic diversity of the Ashfield Council area, arguably the most ethnically diverse council area in the Inner West of Sydney (Marrickville would be the only other council area that may be more diverse).

The refugee rights group I am a member of went along to hand out flyers on the mandatory detention of Asylum Seekers, particularly the Chinese (the largest group in detention at the moment; about 200 people). Given the large Chinese Australian population in Ashfield we had the flyer translated into Mandarin, which was very well received, as was our presence as whole; the positive comments far outweighed the negative ones.

We also had a sign up list for our email group. While at our little stall (essentially a card table with info) a woman came up, who was obviously interested in the issue. We talked for a while about the issue, which she seemed to have quite a good knowledge of. At the end she signed up to our email and SMS list.

Given her interest in the refugee issues and her intelligence, and the fact that she had extremely beautiful eyes, I had to say I found her very attractive. Looking at her name and realising she was Slavic made her even more so. As I have her phone number and our list, the big ethical dilemma is do I get her phone number off the list to call her and ask her out?

In the previous union I worked for there was a member I really liked, but I didn't think it appropriate to ask her out until I was leaving the job. I didn't think it was right to do this as it may have presented an obstacle to her contacting me for advice as a member if she said found my asking her out awkward.

I am thus confronted by a similar dilemma. Hopefully she will turn up to an event of ours soon and become active in the group. After a short while, I would ask her out so that she would then be comfortable with the group as a whole and thus wouldn’t be scared away if she found my actions awkward. However if she doesn't, is it right for me to ask her out and possibly risk forming a barrier to her becoming involved at a later time? People, guidance?

HOPE AND SACRIFICE?

2 Weekends ago there was the Marrickville by-election in Sydney for the NSW Parliament. The Evil fuckwits (aka the Liberals) decided not to run a candidate, so essentially the contest was between the other evil, though not as evil as the Liberals, fuckwits (aka the ALP) and The Greens. Despite the fact that the seat was a safe ALP seat, the ALP was worried. Putting up a homophobic candidate in Carmel Tebutt, the wife of ALP "left" (yeah right, ALP parliamentarians being left) powerbroker Mr Anthony "I can’t keep my dick in my pants for two minutes" Albanese, in an electorate with a large Gay and Lesbian population doesn’t help, but does show the arrogance of the ALP.

On election day there was a sense that an upset may be possible, and the booth I was working at more people took Greens flyers exclusively from me than took ALP flyers exclusively from the ALP volunteers. In the end the ALP got about 49% of the primary vote, the Greens 38% (though the booth I was working was won by the Greens). Obviously there was a sense of disappointment that the Greens didn’t win, but at the same time the fact that they got 38% of the primary vote is something to be positive and optimistic about. Slowly, but surely, The Greens vote is increasing. Is there hope for society after all?

I also recently got to meet and talk to the greatest living Australian: Jack Mundey. For those of you who don’t know who Jack Mundey was, he was the General Secretary of the NSW Building Labourers’ Federation (BLF). Under Jack and his cohorts Bob Pringle and Joe Owens, the NSW BLF was noted for the implementation of Green Bans that stopped the destruction of The Rocks, The State Theatre, the Regent Theatre to name a few and protected numerous parks and pieces of bush from being developed. They also protected low income housing in parts of Sydney from being developed into office blocks and luxury apartments. While this in itself would have made Jack, Bob and Joe great, they also lead the NSW BLF on greater social justice campaigns; equal rights for woman, homosexuals and Aboriginals, they fought against teams from Apartheid South Africa playing in Australia, and fought for prisoners rights. On top of that they also greatly improved the working conditions and wages of their largely unskilled members in the building industry. In the end they were destroyed by business interests, established political parties and their own federal leadership based in Victoria (bloody Victorians).

What contributes to them being so great was their commitment to democracy; the ideals weren’t imposed on the NSW BLF membership; all these actions were voted for and supported by the members of the NSW BLF. These people were largely unskilled, uneducated labourers, who were willing to sacrifice their wages for the greater good of all of society. But then again so was their leadership; when the members went on strike, the NSW BLF leadership agreed that they should not be paid also, and all elected positions were for limited tenure.

It was a remarkable time, and Jack was, and still is, a remarkable person. He showed that it was possible to appeal to the decency in people. I think about this as I sit at work on Sunday waiting to give a talk at a Free China rally this afternoon, after having to get up nice and early to give a talk for work. Maybe there is hope that through the sacrifice of some people, that a just, equal and fair society will emerge.